Near Misses & Meltdowns

WEBVTT

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free audio post -production by alphonic .com

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I'm sure. Hey, welcome back to The Shane and

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I Show. My name is Shane. My name's Max, and

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that's the facts. And that's the facts, Jax.

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Yep. We were rolling there, and we weren't even

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recording. Yeah, we weren't rolling. We were

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just talking into the ether. We were talking.

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Luckily, I caught it. That's good. That's good.

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We didn't spend 45 minutes talking without a

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recorder on. Which we have done before. Yes.

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Yeah. Yeah, this is the podcast about nothing.

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That makes you think of something. I'm going

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to get our sponsors out of the way real quick.

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Huzzah. I'm going to read it. Good ol' Chad GPT

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wrote this for me, so bear with me. Alright,

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.com. And honestly, it's stupid easy. I mean,

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that make you look way more professional than

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you actually are. Trust me, when I tell you it's

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easy, it's easy. Plus, if you use our affiliate

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help us afford something nice, like socks that

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don't disappear in the dryer. Cause I fucking

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hate it when that happens. Yep. Just head over

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to rss .com and start your podcast today. Do

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it. Your voice deserves to be heard or at least

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mildly tolerated like ours are. Huzzah. That's

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rss .com. And if you want all any information

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or you want to just click the links, you go to

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our nifty website, shaneandishow .com. And it's

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all there on our website. Even. new episodes

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right when they come out. Yeah. And if you sign

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up for the mailing list, there's an email list

00:03:01.939 --> 00:03:04.139
that pops up when you go to the website, you

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sign up for that bad boy, you get these episodes

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delivered right to your inbox when I publish

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them. When he pushes the button, it goes right

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to you. Why did I just do that? Yeah. So boys

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and girls on the internet, you can't see what

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Shane did, but he was just playing with his finger

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in a very interesting sort of way. Anyway, now

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we're going to get back to what we were talking

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about. Yeah. Because we like talking about Costco

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on this show. We do. They should give us an affiliate

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link. They should. Because I'm about to sing

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their praises. Are you? Minus the old guy? Minus

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the fucking old bitch. What happened with the

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old guy? All right. Costco, Costco, the same

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thing. OK. I have a problem with Costco. I'm

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a nice, chill guy. Costco turns me into a different

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person. Yeah, I get it. And, like, I go there

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to get a bunch of staples for cheap. Right. That's

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why anybody goes. Exactly. Anyway, I got through

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most of Costco without much incident. Right?

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But on the way out, right, we left... The cash

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register, we're on our way to the door. Like

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you're out, you can see the finish line. We can

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see the finish line. Without incident. Yeah.

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It's that long ass walk from the cash registers

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to the door. Where the guy checks your receipt.

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Where the guy checks your receipt and, and there's

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almost nobody there. It's like a clear shot,

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except for one guy who's already a third of the

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way down. So I, I expect by the time I get to

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the end. He's going to be out. He's going to

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be out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, except as I start walking,

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he starts slowing down and he starts getting

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slower and slower and coming to a crawl right

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at a place where it's like least convenient to

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get around him. And then he comes to a complete

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dead stop before the guy. Yeah. Yeah. About.

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So he's so he comes to a complete dead stop.

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And, and so I, I make a honestly kind of dangerous

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pass. Right. Cause there's not a lot of clearance

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here, but I've been watching this guy slow down

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and by the time he stops, I have gone from serene

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to fucking like foaming at the mouth. Yeah, that

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would get me too. Yeah. And so as I pass him.

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Not only do I come within about half an inch

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of clipping him with my cart, I didn't mean to.

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I just, I just, I was sure he didn't. I was so

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impatient by that point. It almost happened.

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But as I'm passing him, I just look to see what

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the fuck his deal was. And he had stopped to

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read his receipt. If he was curious, if he was

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curious about what was in his receipt, letting

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me do it when he got out of the register. They

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just pulled to the side right there. He could

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have just pulled to the side anywhere. Yeah.

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That whole long stretch. Yeah. There's a whole

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area off to the side where you can find a little

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nook, pull over out of everyone's way and do

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whatever the fuck you gotta do. Yeah, and every

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Costco is both the same. So if you know, you

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know. Yeah. And this... this old bitch just stopped

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him because he just wanted to read his fucking...

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his fucking... I almost lost my... fucking mind.

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Did you say anything to him? Thank God Kira was

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right there next to me. Thank God for the wife.

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Yeah. And she just, she, she took me by the arm.

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She's like, breathe. We're almost out. We're

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almost out. Yeah. It's like, and then you just

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mean mug a dude. You just mean mug him. I didn't

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even mean mug him. I should have fucking said

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some words. I could mean mug somebody and make

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him feel like I don't like him really quick.

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I can mean mug somebody into fucking like having

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trouble sleeping that night. Yeah. But this guy,

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I just, after I got past and Kira took me by

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the arm and I just... I kept on walking, but

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god damn it. And I, you know, you know what makes

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it sometimes I get pissed off about something.

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It is what it is. I'm a human being, but when

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I'm right, that's when it's the worst. I know

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it's the same way. When I'm, when I know I'm

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right, when I know for a fact that my anger was

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righteous and that person, I honestly, if I,

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if I had stopped to think about it, I should

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have done something to fucking like intervene

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in their bad behavior so that they wouldn't do

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it again. Luckily your wife is there. Luckily

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the wife was there. Yeah. Cause I don't need

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to get banned from Costco for assaulting old

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men. Yeah. And they'd have your picture up there

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and don't let this guy in. Yeah. They got a bunch

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of cameras. You can't, you can't just fucking

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accost some 70 year old dude and get away with

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it. And he's 70. Yeah. So I mean, I get it. I'm

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getting old. Hey, this guy was old enough to

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know better. But not old enough for that to be

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an experience. But see, here's the thing about

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getting old that I'm starting to realize. Yeah.

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Because I just had a birthday a couple weeks

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ago, and I'm getting up there. Happy birthday.

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Thank you. And I'm getting up there. Yeah. Right?

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Almost 87 and a half. Almost 87 and a half years

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old. I got to pee a little more than I used to.

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I'm not really 87 people, but for podcast's sake,

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we're going to say I'm 87. Yep. And maybe I'll

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tell you my real age. I don't know. But I realize

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there's like two different old people you could

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be, right? You could be the onry old person.

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It just makes a big deal out of fucking everything.

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Like, you know, back when I was young, that kind

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of guy. Yeah, that sounds good. Right? Or you

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could be, well, three. You could be the dumbfounded

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old person that gets lost in fucking Costco and

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does absurd things like, you know. gets in front

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of Max. Stop in the middle. Stop in the middle.

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It's preposterous. All right. And here's the

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third one. Yeah. Here's the third one. You could

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be that old guy that kind of does creepy stuff,

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but people are like, oh, he's just an old man.

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It's all right. That kind of does creep. Not

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like really creepy stuff, but like when you see

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a girl, you can actually say, when you see a

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pretty girl, you can actually say, oh, you're

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a pretty young woman. Oh, yeah. Like, not too

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creepy. Yeah. Not like, follow, hunting down,

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I mean, not like, not like, stalker creepy. Right.

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But like, you know, just, you can say little

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snide comments and get away with it and they'll

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look at you and be like, oh, you're a sweet old

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man. Yeah. Right? And here's the other thing

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that I figured out that was probably the coolest

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part about it, is you could wear those fucking

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Depends, and if you're in the middle of Costco,

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you could shit yourself, not only shit yourself,

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but you could just fucking drain the vein, right?

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You could just take a piss. right there in the

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middle of Costco in your pants. And people would

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just be like, oh, poor old man. And you may even

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get a discount on the shit you're buying because

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you pissed yourself. Because people would feel

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sorry for you. Shane, this took a turn I wasn't

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expecting. I was just thinking about it as I'm

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getting older, right? Like, what kind of old

00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:27.259
man do I want to be? And you want to be the shitting

00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:28.960
yourself kind of old man? No, I don't want to

00:10:28.960 --> 00:10:31.100
be the shitting myself old man. I was just describing...

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Because from the way you delivered the options,

00:10:34.759 --> 00:10:36.799
that sounded like the one you were leaning towards.

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No, no, no, no, no. Like, boy, I can't wait till

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I can get away with shitting myself in Costco.

00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:43.120
I want to be the guy that can get away with saying

00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:47.960
little absurd wisecracks and like saying things

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to women like... Oh, you're a pretty woman. Shane,

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I'm going to tell you right now, you're not going

00:10:53.340 --> 00:10:56.240
to be that guy. I can dream, though, can I? You

00:10:56.240 --> 00:10:59.440
can dream. I'm just telling you because I know

00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:02.549
you. And I know you're a well -meaning person,

00:11:02.590 --> 00:11:05.470
but I also know if you try to be that guy, you're

00:11:05.470 --> 00:11:07.710
not gonna get away with it. I know, it's just

00:11:07.710 --> 00:11:09.990
not gonna work. It's gonna come across as creepy

00:11:09.990 --> 00:11:13.129
if I do it. And if I piss or shit myself in the

00:11:13.129 --> 00:11:14.570
middle of Costco, it ain't gonna work the way

00:11:14.570 --> 00:11:19.110
I think about it. Unless I make a big deal, unless

00:11:19.110 --> 00:11:22.029
I look at everybody and everybody's looking at

00:11:22.029 --> 00:11:23.909
me while I'm shitting myself or pissing myself

00:11:23.909 --> 00:11:25.730
and they're like, oh my God, that old man's pissing

00:11:25.730 --> 00:11:28.500
himself. And I can just be like... This is what

00:11:28.500 --> 00:11:32.679
old men do, and they just leave me alone. You'll

00:11:32.679 --> 00:11:35.440
get banned from Costco if you do that. I figure

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if I'm 87, and I get banned from Costco, it's

00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:41.919
gonna be okay. It doesn't matter how old you

00:11:41.919 --> 00:11:47.179
are. If you mess yourself in public on purpose,

00:11:47.659 --> 00:11:50.399
and everybody knows you did it not because you

00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:52.639
have a condition, but because you just goddamn

00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:54.740
felt like it and wanted to make a statement,

00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:58.879
they're not gonna let you back in. Yeah, and

00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:02.559
let's say play the senile man card No, even if

00:12:02.559 --> 00:12:06.340
you play the Sierra if there's plenty of there

00:12:06.340 --> 00:12:08.320
are plenty of demented people that they don't

00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:10.620
let in places Here's the thing I thought about

00:12:10.620 --> 00:12:12.500
other thing I thought about though, too Yeah,

00:12:12.519 --> 00:12:14.519
that would kind of make it hard for me to get

00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:18.299
to Costco if I was really 87. Mm -hmm Driving

00:12:18.299 --> 00:12:21.879
because I really hope when I'm 87 Like there's

00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:24.879
a law that says like if you're in your 80s, you

00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:29.659
can't drive Yeah because I've been, been behind

00:12:29.659 --> 00:12:31.740
some crazy old people that you're just like,

00:12:31.740 --> 00:12:34.100
what are you doing? Well, once you get to a certain

00:12:34.100 --> 00:12:36.480
age, they, they check up on you whenever they

00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.620
read your license. I really don't want to drive

00:12:39.620 --> 00:12:42.399
when I get really old. All right. So don't like

00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:44.940
I get, cause I could just picture having this

00:12:44.940 --> 00:12:47.659
big old Cadillac or something like having a big

00:12:47.659 --> 00:12:50.320
old car and be one of those guys that just does

00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:52.799
20 miles an hour everywhere and just kind of

00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:57.659
weaves around on the road. Cause I already know

00:12:57.659 --> 00:13:00.559
I got bad eyesight when I drive, so I have to

00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:04.000
wear glasses, right? But I'd be that guy, that

00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:06.559
old man that just forgets his glasses at home

00:13:06.559 --> 00:13:08.720
when I got to go somewhere and I'd just be driving

00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:11.200
20 miles an hour, fucking swerving everywhere

00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:15.000
where I drive. I don't want to do it, dude. Because

00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:17.899
again, I know you and you got a bit of a lead

00:13:17.899 --> 00:13:20.539
foot. Yeah. So you're not going to be the guy

00:13:20.539 --> 00:13:23.240
who goes too slow winding around. You're going

00:13:23.240 --> 00:13:25.679
to be the guy who goes too fast winding around.

00:13:25.700 --> 00:13:27.960
And I hit something. Yeah. I don't want to do

00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:29.879
that. So I really hope when I'm old enough, when

00:13:29.879 --> 00:13:33.899
I'm that old, when I'm really 87, they're just

00:13:33.899 --> 00:13:38.799
like, nah, dude, nah. Yeah. I also hope that

00:13:38.799 --> 00:13:43.100
I hope that I hope you don't choose to shit yourself

00:13:43.100 --> 00:13:47.059
just to like challenge people to say something.

00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:49.460
I hope you don't do that. What do you got to

00:13:49.460 --> 00:13:53.639
say, young man? Just be on the bus. Yeah, and

00:13:53.639 --> 00:13:56.240
what I would have to say is leave and don't come

00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:00.340
back. There's a list for people like you. What

00:14:00.340 --> 00:14:03.080
you got to say, young man? You're afraid of pooping

00:14:03.080 --> 00:14:06.740
yourself? No, I just don't want people pooping

00:14:06.740 --> 00:14:10.539
next to me. The other thing I was thinking about,

00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:13.559
too, is I went to the movies a few months ago.

00:14:14.419 --> 00:14:16.720
I've been meaning to talk about this. For some

00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:19.509
reason, I... Never I go like have an idea in

00:14:19.509 --> 00:14:20.929
my head that I want to talk about on the show

00:14:20.929 --> 00:14:22.330
and I'm like, yeah Yeah, I'm gonna talk about

00:14:22.330 --> 00:14:24.389
that. Let her rip. Anyway, I went to the movies

00:14:24.389 --> 00:14:26.190
a couple weeks ago and you remember when going

00:14:26.190 --> 00:14:29.049
to the movies was like a thing Yeah, and it like

00:14:29.049 --> 00:14:31.450
the movie theaters were nice. Mm -hmm and like

00:14:31.450 --> 00:14:34.070
everything worked like the sound was cool Like

00:14:34.070 --> 00:14:36.649
the curtains worked. Yeah, the seats were relatively

00:14:36.649 --> 00:14:38.929
in good condition. Yeah, and there wasn't shit

00:14:38.929 --> 00:14:42.070
on the floor everywhere Yeah, I paid 14 bucks

00:14:42.070 --> 00:14:44.049
for a ticket. All right, that's cheap these days.

00:14:44.090 --> 00:14:47.679
Yeah, maybe it was more I can't remember The

00:14:47.679 --> 00:14:50.299
curtains, the curtains for the theater, right?

00:14:50.500 --> 00:14:53.000
Yeah. How they pull them back? Mm -hmm. Didn't

00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:55.639
open through the whole, all the previews. Okay.

00:14:55.899 --> 00:14:57.759
Which is a bummer, because I wanted to see some

00:14:57.759 --> 00:14:59.679
of the previews. They didn't open the curtains

00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:02.799
to reveal the screen? No, they, like, the screen

00:15:02.799 --> 00:15:04.440
was there. You could see what was on the screen.

00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:06.100
Well, yeah, they were projecting onto the curtains,

00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:09.740
not the screen. Yeah. Yeah. And there was shit

00:15:09.740 --> 00:15:11.320
everywhere on the floor. Like, when I tell you

00:15:11.320 --> 00:15:13.139
there was shit everywhere on the floor, not literal

00:15:13.139 --> 00:15:15.120
shit, but like, there was like popcorn, there

00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:18.820
was like... fucking Milk Duds, all over the place.

00:15:19.820 --> 00:15:22.799
And there was like, like the sound was messed

00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:25.539
up and somebody, it was like me and two other

00:15:25.539 --> 00:15:27.179
people in this theater. And we went, I went and

00:15:27.179 --> 00:15:28.919
saw that new Captain America movie and I thought

00:15:28.919 --> 00:15:31.440
it would be packed. It was like me and two other

00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:34.059
people. The one guy, one of the guys, I was just

00:15:34.059 --> 00:15:35.740
like, I was like, you know, they're going to

00:15:35.740 --> 00:15:37.399
fix it. I was like sitting there thinking, I'm

00:15:37.399 --> 00:15:38.639
like, they're going to fix it. Cause I don't

00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:40.580
mind going to a movie by myself. I actually kind

00:15:40.580 --> 00:15:43.220
of like it. And I'm like, they're going to fix

00:15:43.220 --> 00:15:45.450
it. They'll fucking realize what's going on,

00:15:45.970 --> 00:15:49.710
right? The movie's starting. And they still haven't

00:15:49.710 --> 00:15:51.470
fixed it. They still haven't fixed it. The lights

00:15:51.470 --> 00:15:54.210
haven't dimmed yet, all the way down. So finally,

00:15:54.269 --> 00:15:56.129
one of the guys, there's only three of us in

00:15:56.129 --> 00:15:58.730
the movie theater. One of the guys, because I

00:15:58.730 --> 00:16:01.129
was like, maybe I should get up, maybe I shouldn't.

00:16:01.309 --> 00:16:03.509
I'm debating. At that point, you definitely should

00:16:03.509 --> 00:16:05.809
get up. Well, this one guy wearing a Marvel shirt,

00:16:05.909 --> 00:16:09.149
so you can tell he was a Marvel fan, got up,

00:16:09.210 --> 00:16:11.690
walked out, and you could hear him. He's like,

00:16:11.769 --> 00:16:16.330
hey! Hey, can somebody fucking pull the curtains

00:16:16.330 --> 00:16:22.830
on the movie? Yeah. And they stop the movie.

00:16:22.929 --> 00:16:26.830
Good. Turn on the lights. Good. Apologize. Good.

00:16:27.509 --> 00:16:30.250
Turn the movie, turn the lights back off. Yeah.

00:16:30.690 --> 00:16:33.669
And to open up the curtains finally. Good. Back

00:16:33.669 --> 00:16:38.070
in the, back, even in like a couple years ago,

00:16:38.470 --> 00:16:41.210
before COVID even, like going to the movies was

00:16:41.210 --> 00:16:44.120
a thing. Yeah. Like, it was a, you look forward

00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:46.600
to it. Yes. Right? You go out to your fucking

00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:49.059
Applebee's or whatever, and you get something

00:16:49.059 --> 00:16:51.480
to eat beforehand at the Applebee's at the mall.

00:16:51.620 --> 00:16:54.860
Yeah. And then you go see a movie in a nice clean

00:16:54.860 --> 00:16:58.080
movie theater. And I was debating with somebody

00:16:58.080 --> 00:17:01.399
about this, like, why people don't go to movies

00:17:01.399 --> 00:17:03.639
anymore. I think it was an online debate. Yeah.

00:17:03.820 --> 00:17:05.220
Because they were like, oh, I love going to the

00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:07.539
movies. And I'm like, dude. Not me, not anymore.

00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:10.220
I also love going to the movies, but that sounds

00:17:10.220 --> 00:17:12.680
like a bad movie experience. Yeah, and it was,

00:17:13.059 --> 00:17:16.480
where was it? It was in Petaluma. Which one in

00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:18.240
Petaluma? I don't know, I can't remember. Because

00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:20.079
there's a nice theater in Petaluma. It wasn't

00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:23.099
that one. Yeah. So it wasn't the downtown? No,

00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:27.339
it was, no. But it was, like, awful. I just remember

00:17:27.339 --> 00:17:30.380
it, because I'm like, I just remember, man. Like,

00:17:30.380 --> 00:17:32.440
movies were, like, a thing. Like, you went there,

00:17:32.599 --> 00:17:34.640
and, like, it was nice, it was air -conditioned,

00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:36.420
it was hot out. There was a whole experience,

00:17:36.579 --> 00:17:38.319
man. And, like, this person was saying, oh, people

00:17:38.319 --> 00:17:39.880
don't appreciate going to the movies anymore.

00:17:39.940 --> 00:17:41.680
And I'm like, people probably would appreciate

00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:44.220
it a little more if, like, they, people, like,

00:17:44.359 --> 00:17:47.539
worked there, did their job. And, like, the theater

00:17:47.539 --> 00:17:50.339
was presentable. Yeah. And, like, you could see

00:17:50.339 --> 00:17:52.839
the previews when the movie, before the movie

00:17:52.839 --> 00:17:57.200
starts. Yeah. Like, Paid 14 15 bucks or whatever

00:17:57.200 --> 00:17:59.359
to get in the movie theater part of what you're

00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:01.119
paying to see is the preview Yeah, yeah, and

00:18:01.119 --> 00:18:04.500
I like the previews. Yeah, right Especially for

00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:06.779
a Marvel movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it was

00:18:06.779 --> 00:18:08.839
just man. It was just awful And then the movie

00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:11.000
the movies are right think the Captain America

00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:14.680
movie was all right But yeah, man, it was just

00:18:14.680 --> 00:18:18.039
I was bummed out about I was like I don't think

00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:20.019
I'm gonna be going to movies movie theater anymore

00:18:20.019 --> 00:18:21.900
I'll just fucking wait and watch them at home

00:18:22.500 --> 00:18:24.599
For a lot of movies now, you don't even have

00:18:24.599 --> 00:18:27.200
to wait. Right. Yeah, there's movies that come

00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.640
out really quick that were just in the theater

00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:32.759
and two weeks later they're available. Well,

00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:35.640
there's a lot now that they'll do just theater

00:18:35.640 --> 00:18:39.579
for opening weekend maybe, or they just go straight

00:18:39.579 --> 00:18:42.859
to streaming the same day that they open in the

00:18:42.859 --> 00:18:46.119
theaters. Yeah, it was just an interesting experience.

00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:48.480
I mean, it bummed me out, man. It really bummed

00:18:48.480 --> 00:18:50.259
me out. Yes, I was like, dude, I remember, like,

00:18:50.259 --> 00:18:52.119
when you could go out, you could get a burger.

00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:56.660
Yeah, no, you described the meal already. Yeah.

00:18:57.400 --> 00:19:00.339
It's a bummer, dude. It is. I went to a movie

00:19:00.339 --> 00:19:03.720
in January, and it was nice. Yeah, there's another

00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:06.079
nice theater up here in Santa Rosa, the airport

00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:09.019
theater. That fucking one's nice. I haven't been

00:19:09.019 --> 00:19:10.839
to that. Yeah, you have reclining chairs. You

00:19:10.839 --> 00:19:13.539
could, like, order, like, your shit to your...

00:19:13.609 --> 00:19:16.349
You could order your shit from your chair. Nice.

00:19:16.589 --> 00:19:18.670
Yeah, it's pretty nice. So that was something

00:19:18.670 --> 00:19:20.970
I was thinking about. And I was thinking about

00:19:20.970 --> 00:19:24.250
this. So I'm on the dating site. I'm on this

00:19:24.250 --> 00:19:26.589
dating site, right? Yeah. I'm not gonna say it.

00:19:26.589 --> 00:19:28.650
I'm only on one, and right now it's partly for

00:19:28.650 --> 00:19:30.869
entertainment purposes. Mm -hmm. Just because

00:19:30.869 --> 00:19:33.190
I'm not seriously looking for anything. It's

00:19:33.190 --> 00:19:36.009
just like, I like scrolling. Yeah. So when I

00:19:36.009 --> 00:19:38.170
scroll, I'd rather scroll on the dating site

00:19:38.170 --> 00:19:40.920
than anything else. You might really get into

00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:42.859
this topic because I've been wondering about

00:19:42.859 --> 00:19:46.180
this one. So a lot of these, a lot of these women

00:19:46.180 --> 00:19:47.920
lately, they're putting stuff in their, they

00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:50.720
put stuff in their profile. I think, you know,

00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:52.640
I want somebody to hang out with, whatever. It's

00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:54.420
all nice stuff. Until they get to this part,

00:19:54.759 --> 00:19:56.660
and this has literally happened, I would say

00:19:56.660 --> 00:19:58.859
probably on 10 profiles that I've seen in the

00:19:58.859 --> 00:20:04.640
last two weeks, I want a God -fearing man. So

00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:07.640
like, so are they talking about, when they say

00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:10.750
God -fearing man, Are they saying like the kind

00:20:10.750 --> 00:20:13.670
of God that that old -timey God that smites you

00:20:13.670 --> 00:20:16.950
if you're doing the wrong shit? Yes Why they're

00:20:16.950 --> 00:20:18.609
they're talking about somebody who's afraid of

00:20:18.609 --> 00:20:25.230
going to hell why? Look, I don't understand Okay,

00:20:25.410 --> 00:20:27.990
first off. I'm not religious either Am I and

00:20:27.990 --> 00:20:30.569
I try not to judge people who are either do I

00:20:30.569 --> 00:20:33.470
but it's happened But I I don't like a religion

00:20:33.470 --> 00:20:36.630
first off. I think maybe they're not reading

00:20:36.630 --> 00:20:41.049
into or they're not fully grasping what God -fearing

00:20:41.049 --> 00:20:45.589
means. Because God -fearing is just a traditional

00:20:45.589 --> 00:20:47.930
thing you would say to mean somebody who actually

00:20:47.930 --> 00:20:50.869
believes in their religion and acts accordingly.

00:20:51.089 --> 00:20:53.230
And if they act out, they're going to get smited.

00:20:53.549 --> 00:20:56.250
Yes. Because fucking lightning shot down at you.

00:20:56.710 --> 00:20:59.349
Yeah, but a God -fearing person isn't going to

00:20:59.349 --> 00:21:01.369
get the lightning because they're God -fearing

00:21:01.369 --> 00:21:05.549
and they will act accordingly. Right. It does

00:21:05.549 --> 00:21:11.069
imply... that you believe your God is an asshole.

00:21:12.950 --> 00:21:15.970
Sorry to laugh. No, no. I mean, it just is what

00:21:15.970 --> 00:21:19.569
it is. I just don't see, I don't see how people

00:21:19.569 --> 00:21:22.930
could be like, you know, I believe in God. My

00:21:22.930 --> 00:21:25.250
God is an asshole. Yes. Well, here's, here's

00:21:25.250 --> 00:21:27.890
the thing. Here's the thing. If you believe in

00:21:27.890 --> 00:21:31.579
a God. Right. You don't necessarily choose the

00:21:31.579 --> 00:21:33.819
God you believe in. Right. Right. Once you believe

00:21:33.819 --> 00:21:35.640
in it, like if you believe in a God and you're

00:21:35.640 --> 00:21:38.140
like, I believe in that one. Right. Then whether

00:21:38.140 --> 00:21:40.079
he's an asshole or not isn't up to you. It's

00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:43.079
up to God. Right. Right. And, and like the, the

00:21:43.079 --> 00:21:46.279
Bible God, right? Right. The one for, for whom

00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:49.579
people are God -fearing. Right. He's an asshole.

00:21:50.059 --> 00:21:52.690
No, I get that. Like if you read, say like, Yeah,

00:21:52.730 --> 00:21:56.069
you read some old timey stuff. It's like, and

00:21:56.069 --> 00:21:58.529
then God got angry and fucking flooded a village

00:21:58.529 --> 00:22:00.990
or some shit like that. Yeah, there's like all

00:22:00.990 --> 00:22:04.609
that. Or just basic shit that they tell you is

00:22:04.609 --> 00:22:07.029
part of the sales pitch. They tell you about

00:22:07.029 --> 00:22:09.549
heaven, and they're like, and also there's hell.

00:22:10.210 --> 00:22:13.069
And you say, what's hell? And they're like, oh,

00:22:13.069 --> 00:22:15.069
I don't know. Like, if you use the Lord's name

00:22:15.069 --> 00:22:18.109
in vain, like, he takes that personally and he'll

00:22:18.109 --> 00:22:21.529
torture you for eternity. Sorry to laugh again.

00:22:21.769 --> 00:22:25.309
Yeah, I just think I you see but but change change

00:22:25.309 --> 00:22:30.450
change. God is love. Yeah I just think hell is

00:22:30.450 --> 00:22:33.329
Like I've watched a lot of TV shows and there's

00:22:33.329 --> 00:22:35.109
this one I watched and I can't remember what

00:22:35.109 --> 00:22:37.089
what it was But there's this version of hell

00:22:37.089 --> 00:22:41.160
where the sky and did suburbia And this is his

00:22:41.160 --> 00:22:42.980
version of hell, right? Because everybody has,

00:22:43.259 --> 00:22:45.220
according to the show, everybody had their own

00:22:45.220 --> 00:22:47.980
version of hell, right? It's different for everybody.

00:22:48.380 --> 00:22:50.299
Which I could kind of get behind, right? It's

00:22:50.299 --> 00:22:52.519
not like you're, it's not like you know your

00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:54.339
soul's being tortured, right? You just think

00:22:54.339 --> 00:22:57.200
you're living, you don't even, like, in this

00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:59.680
theory, I guess, is that you don't even realize,

00:22:59.720 --> 00:23:02.380
like, you're fucking dead, right? You live in

00:23:02.380 --> 00:23:05.160
suburbia, you have this house, and I'm like...

00:23:05.049 --> 00:23:06.769
Things are normal, like you're waking up, having

00:23:06.769 --> 00:23:08.390
breakfast, you're talking to your kid, you're

00:23:08.390 --> 00:23:10.670
talking to your wife, right? And the wife goes,

00:23:10.809 --> 00:23:12.970
hey, could you go down to the basement and grab

00:23:12.970 --> 00:23:15.589
some fucking something from the basement or whatever?

00:23:15.589 --> 00:23:17.769
Uh huh. We're at a toilet paper, you go to the

00:23:17.769 --> 00:23:19.890
basement and you're walking down to the basement

00:23:19.890 --> 00:23:21.950
and you know, there's something, you're kind

00:23:21.950 --> 00:23:24.069
of like something like, no, no, no, there's something

00:23:24.069 --> 00:23:26.589
kind of fishy about this basement thing. Okay.

00:23:26.910 --> 00:23:28.470
And you get down to the basement and there's

00:23:28.470 --> 00:23:31.750
some fucking big org fucker down there. Uh huh.

00:23:31.990 --> 00:23:34.400
And he torches you. Okay. And then you wake up

00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:36.940
and the whole day starts over again. Yeah. That's

00:23:36.940 --> 00:23:39.299
like one person's version of hell in this TV

00:23:39.299 --> 00:23:41.680
show. Yeah. That's like this person's version

00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:43.779
of hell. Imagine the surprise and the terror.

00:23:43.839 --> 00:23:46.279
Yeah. That's part of it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

00:23:46.279 --> 00:23:48.380
if you wake up and you know what you're in store

00:23:48.380 --> 00:23:51.460
for, they've given up on surprise and, well,

00:23:51.460 --> 00:23:53.539
there's probably still terror, but they've given

00:23:53.539 --> 00:23:56.099
up on the showmanship of it. Right. I mean, come

00:23:56.099 --> 00:23:57.859
on. I think they just, like, as soon as you're

00:23:57.859 --> 00:23:59.779
tortured enough, they just kind of wipe your

00:23:59.779 --> 00:24:01.319
mind or whatever, and you just start the day

00:24:01.319 --> 00:24:03.920
over. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. That

00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:07.140
doesn't sound bad, I mean... That doesn't sound

00:24:07.140 --> 00:24:10.400
bad? Going downstairs to get some toilet paper

00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:12.279
and being tortured for the rest of the day by

00:24:12.279 --> 00:24:15.559
an orc? Okay, in the grand scheme of hells. Yeah?

00:24:16.180 --> 00:24:19.500
Not knowing that I'm dead. Yeah. And just repeating

00:24:19.500 --> 00:24:21.940
the same thing over and over again. Uh -huh.

00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:24.700
It sounds way better to me than actually knowing

00:24:24.700 --> 00:24:28.039
I'm dead, being down in this fiery pit of hell,

00:24:28.579 --> 00:24:31.119
and getting my soul tortured over and over again.

00:24:31.339 --> 00:24:33.700
Yeah, well, that's the hell you're gonna go to.

00:24:34.339 --> 00:24:37.539
Because God knows that's worse for you. And because

00:24:37.539 --> 00:24:43.140
you used his name improperly. And so he got angry

00:24:43.140 --> 00:24:46.000
and he's gonna torture you for eternity in the

00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:48.839
fiery pit, where they fucking take the skin off

00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:51.779
your living body. That's not gonna be fun. I'd

00:24:51.779 --> 00:24:54.039
rather have the suburbia one. You'd rather have

00:24:54.039 --> 00:24:56.140
the suburbia one? Yeah, I'd rather wake up in

00:24:56.140 --> 00:24:57.880
suburbia and think everything's cool until I

00:24:57.880 --> 00:24:59.799
go down to the basement. Think everything's cool

00:24:59.799 --> 00:25:01.660
until you go down to the basement and get fucking

00:25:01.660 --> 00:25:03.980
sex dungeoned by an orc. Yeah, that's great.

00:25:04.680 --> 00:25:06.619
That's better. That's the better option than

00:25:06.619 --> 00:25:09.660
fucking getting my skin killed. No, I mean, I'm

00:25:09.660 --> 00:25:12.160
with you, man. That's the one I would choose,

00:25:12.259 --> 00:25:13.779
too. That's how I know I'm going to the fiery

00:25:13.779 --> 00:25:17.420
pit as well. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I kind of I

00:25:17.420 --> 00:25:18.859
kind of think I've already been through hell,

00:25:18.859 --> 00:25:21.369
so. Well, it can't be as bad as what I've been

00:25:21.369 --> 00:25:22.829
through. Oh, there's always something worse.

00:25:23.269 --> 00:25:27.609
True. Yeah, true. Anyone else? I had to adult

00:25:27.609 --> 00:25:30.289
yesterday, dude. And I was thinking about this

00:25:30.289 --> 00:25:33.109
the other day. You know me. You're 87 years old.

00:25:33.329 --> 00:25:35.690
You had to do that sometimes. 87 and a half.

00:25:36.289 --> 00:25:41.109
Yeah. So I threw on my Depends. I had to go fucking

00:25:41.109 --> 00:25:43.910
do some shit, right? I had to go register. I

00:25:43.910 --> 00:25:45.890
had to go get my car smogged. I had to go pay

00:25:45.890 --> 00:25:48.450
my registration. And I was thinking about it,

00:25:48.769 --> 00:25:50.740
man. Like, I don't fucking... There was a time

00:25:50.740 --> 00:25:52.339
where I didn't care about any of that stuff.

00:25:52.539 --> 00:25:55.160
Yeah, I remember. Yeah, I'm like... I'm like,

00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:57.799
dude, I don't care if I'm driving around on expired

00:25:57.799 --> 00:26:01.059
tags... Yeah. ...until I can't get my license

00:26:01.059 --> 00:26:03.319
back. And then I'm like, why can't I get my license

00:26:03.319 --> 00:26:06.420
back? Oh, this is bullshit. Yeah, exactly. Fucking

00:26:06.420 --> 00:26:09.819
victim mentality, right? Uh -huh, yeah. Oh, oh,

00:26:09.819 --> 00:26:12.960
I thought I took care of... Oh, man. You know,

00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:14.819
you throw the DMV some money, guess what? You

00:26:14.819 --> 00:26:17.640
get your license back. Mm -hmm. It's my experience

00:26:17.640 --> 00:26:19.799
anyway. So anyway, I was taking care of this

00:26:19.799 --> 00:26:21.099
stuff and I was thinking about that. I was like,

00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:23.700
man, I'm really, I'm actually kind of glad I

00:26:23.700 --> 00:26:26.160
get to do this now. Like I don't have to fucking

00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:29.940
worry about fucking driving down the road and

00:26:29.940 --> 00:26:32.740
getting pulled over. Cause you know how bad it

00:26:32.740 --> 00:26:34.579
was. Like the cop would pull, I would get pulled

00:26:34.579 --> 00:26:37.220
over and the cop would be like, oh, so back in

00:26:37.220 --> 00:26:41.660
1989. Right. Yeah, I remember all this, yeah.

00:26:41.940 --> 00:26:45.000
Back in 1989, you had a driving with like something

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:47.519
stupid, dude. And I was too afraid to go to court

00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:49.740
and show up to court. It wasn't like I was trying

00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:52.000
to get away with something. It was like, I was

00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:54.440
too afraid. Like, honestly, like I was a kid.

00:26:54.539 --> 00:26:57.380
I was like this guy that was just, I don't want

00:26:57.380 --> 00:27:00.039
to go in front of a judge. Yeah. Right? And I

00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:01.799
wouldn't tell anybody any of this stuff. And

00:27:01.799 --> 00:27:03.380
I would just try to figure it out. And then I

00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:06.920
wouldn't go. And so that turns into a fucking

00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:10.240
$2 ,000 fine. Right? Twenty years later, yeah.

00:27:10.259 --> 00:27:12.900
Twenty years later, I'm driving down the road,

00:27:13.259 --> 00:27:15.380
and I think I'm cool, right? Because they gave

00:27:15.380 --> 00:27:17.859
me my license back, so I think it's okay. Like,

00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:20.839
I have it in my wallet. And I'm driving down

00:27:20.839 --> 00:27:22.960
the road, and they're like, oh yeah, by the way,

00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:26.619
in 1989, you were driving without a fucking seatbelt,

00:27:26.660 --> 00:27:29.160
and you didn't go to court. So there's a warrant

00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:33.440
from 1989 for you. And we don't really care about,

00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:36.460
you know... Nevada cops dude, they would just

00:27:36.460 --> 00:27:38.619
pull me over they would pull me over and be like

00:27:38.619 --> 00:27:42.119
I'm like, dude Are you serious 1989? Are you

00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:45.599
serious? You're like, yep 1989, dude now in in

00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:48.079
all fairness at the time you were driving a drug

00:27:48.079 --> 00:27:50.640
dealer car You weren't a drug dealer, but you

00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:53.299
were driving a drug dealer car. Yeah. Oh, yeah,

00:27:53.299 --> 00:27:56.400
it was I was driving that fucking BMW Yeah, I

00:27:56.400 --> 00:27:58.259
fucking hated that that car was cool to have

00:27:58.259 --> 00:28:02.039
for like a month. Yeah, I I drove that car from

00:28:02.240 --> 00:28:05.000
I drove that car from where it was. It wasn't

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:07.480
a drug dealer car. And I drove that thing from

00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:09.579
where it was impounded in the South Bay all the

00:28:09.579 --> 00:28:12.420
way up to Marin. Oh, that must have been nice.

00:28:12.660 --> 00:28:14.319
Because that car didn't move. It was, man. It

00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:16.200
was a cruise. I didn't even realize how fast

00:28:16.200 --> 00:28:19.160
I was going until I... That car, you had to go

00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:21.980
80. Like, you just had to. There was no... Like,

00:28:21.980 --> 00:28:23.720
you went 60 or something like that. You were

00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:26.180
going too slow. Yeah. But at the same time, like,

00:28:26.180 --> 00:28:28.700
I knew if I fucking dug into, like, a hole in

00:28:28.700 --> 00:28:31.019
the upholstery or something, God only knows what

00:28:31.019 --> 00:28:33.640
you're gonna find in there. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,

00:28:33.640 --> 00:28:36.740
that car was my ego car, right? That was full

00:28:36.740 --> 00:28:40.919
ego, full fucking, like, I want a nice car. And

00:28:40.919 --> 00:28:43.559
it used to be a nice car 10 years before you

00:28:43.559 --> 00:28:45.920
acquired it. Yeah. And then, and then it had

00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.000
like a CV problem, like the CV, like I needed

00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:51.240
a new, what was it, to get it to pass smog, I

00:28:51.240 --> 00:28:53.140
needed something. It was like a CV joint or some

00:28:53.140 --> 00:28:57.140
shit like that. And it was like $5, it was like

00:28:57.140 --> 00:29:00.220
800 bucks. Yeah. And I just remember, I just

00:29:00.220 --> 00:29:01.640
remember being like, dude, I don't want to deal

00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:05.000
with that. And I just drove it around. You just

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:08.200
drove it illegally. Yeah. I learned my lesson,

00:29:08.279 --> 00:29:10.059
man. See, here's the thing, people is like, I

00:29:10.059 --> 00:29:12.000
can laugh at all this shit now because I've dealt

00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:14.259
with it and I've learned my lesson and I don't

00:29:14.259 --> 00:29:16.759
do that shit anymore. Like all that said, though,

00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:20.220
in that situation, maybe like the responsible

00:29:20.220 --> 00:29:23.940
thing to do. Oh, yeah. Was just to drive it around

00:29:23.940 --> 00:29:27.119
illegally until the police pulled you over, took

00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:30.279
it away. Then you pay then you pay the fine for

00:29:30.279 --> 00:29:32.660
driving an unregistered vehicle if there is even

00:29:32.660 --> 00:29:35.359
a fine for that. But you let them keep the car.

00:29:35.470 --> 00:29:39.369
Well, no, I wound up donating it and got a tax

00:29:39.369 --> 00:29:41.809
write -out for it. I remember. I'm just thinking

00:29:41.809 --> 00:29:45.589
about it now. And I did do the responsible thing

00:29:45.589 --> 00:29:48.809
and I stopped driving it. Yeah, I remember that

00:29:48.809 --> 00:29:51.549
too. Like, because it was just like, dude, that

00:29:51.549 --> 00:29:53.269
car just, it was just like all of a sudden, it

00:29:53.269 --> 00:29:55.990
was just like too much. And I remember like deciding

00:29:55.990 --> 00:29:58.470
right there and then like whatever it took to

00:29:58.470 --> 00:30:00.609
get my license back. Like that's what I was going

00:30:00.609 --> 00:30:02.630
to do. Like I was going to, I'll pay the money,

00:30:02.630 --> 00:30:04.609
I'll pay whatever. And thank God for student

00:30:04.609 --> 00:30:06.950
loans. Cause I was in school at that time and

00:30:06.950 --> 00:30:09.809
I used my student loans to pay back all my shit

00:30:09.809 --> 00:30:14.650
for my license. And I, and I used it for some

00:30:14.650 --> 00:30:18.410
books and books for the classes I took. Look,

00:30:18.490 --> 00:30:20.569
it's, it's perfectly legitimate to use it for

00:30:20.569 --> 00:30:23.089
transportation to class. Right. Yeah. Right.

00:30:23.269 --> 00:30:26.630
And I swore, and I also swore that day, like

00:30:26.630 --> 00:30:30.789
I'm going to get a nice, like incognito car that,

00:30:31.130 --> 00:30:33.630
that I could go kind of fast in that they're

00:30:33.630 --> 00:30:35.549
not going to be like, it's not going to be like

00:30:35.549 --> 00:30:36.789
every time they see it, they're going to pull

00:30:36.789 --> 00:30:38.690
over and like, I got a car that blends in because

00:30:38.690 --> 00:30:40.650
there's so many of them on the road. Yeah, you

00:30:40.650 --> 00:30:42.730
got a nice Nissan. No, it's not a Nissan. It's

00:30:42.730 --> 00:30:44.750
a Hyundai. It's a Hyundai. Whatever it is, it's

00:30:44.750 --> 00:30:48.589
a cool little fucking Korean car. Yeah, and there's

00:30:48.589 --> 00:30:51.329
so many of them out there that I just blend in.

00:30:51.329 --> 00:30:54.450
Yeah, you got to just... The color I got, everything,

00:30:54.470 --> 00:30:56.049
and I did it on purpose. Yeah, fuck, you got

00:30:56.049 --> 00:30:58.190
it in silver. That's a counting color. Yeah.

00:30:58.230 --> 00:31:00.190
Yeah. Yeah, and there's so many of the same color.

00:31:00.450 --> 00:31:02.309
Like, I could drive like an asshole if I wanted

00:31:02.309 --> 00:31:04.910
to. And I'm going to be like, oh, it was the

00:31:04.910 --> 00:31:07.970
other guy. But I'll tell you what, since that

00:31:07.970 --> 00:31:11.319
lesson I've learned... Right? With the BMW. I

00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:13.240
have not been pulled over for driving without

00:31:13.240 --> 00:31:15.460
a license. I have not been pulled over with driving

00:31:15.460 --> 00:31:17.859
without insurance. And I have not been pulled,

00:31:17.900 --> 00:31:19.960
and that was like, what, 10 years ago? Yeah.

00:31:19.980 --> 00:31:22.119
Yeah. So in 10 years, I have not been pulled

00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:24.980
over for any of that shit. Well, you couldn't

00:31:24.980 --> 00:31:27.920
be because you had a license, insurance, and

00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:31.140
registration. Yeah. But, I mean, even if they

00:31:31.140 --> 00:31:33.420
did pull me over, like, like even going through

00:31:33.420 --> 00:31:35.539
DUI checkpoints now, I'm like happy to do it.

00:31:35.539 --> 00:31:37.660
And I'm just like, oh, here's my license. Yeah.

00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:39.559
They're not gonna, they're not gonna be like,

00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:43.279
Hey, by the way, 1987. Yeah. Which, which they

00:31:43.279 --> 00:31:45.200
used to, you know, that was a concern before.

00:31:45.539 --> 00:31:47.599
I remember I used to have to avoid them. You

00:31:47.599 --> 00:31:50.539
know, I, I, I, I one time had the experience

00:31:50.539 --> 00:31:53.940
of coming up on a DIY checkpoint and realizing

00:31:53.940 --> 00:31:57.920
like, Oh shit, my registration's late. And fucking

00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:00.619
like darting, like darting out of the way last

00:32:00.619 --> 00:32:03.980
minute, hoping one of the fucking like, like,

00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:06.440
cause they, they always keep a couple of cops.

00:32:06.670 --> 00:32:09.690
a couple of blocks back to chase people who do

00:32:09.690 --> 00:32:12.089
that. I was like, I hope they didn't do that.

00:32:12.430 --> 00:32:15.069
Cause I got, I got, I got away with it. Yeah.

00:32:15.210 --> 00:32:16.829
I did. I tried to do that a few months, like

00:32:16.829 --> 00:32:19.490
a month ago, there was a checkpoint by my house

00:32:19.490 --> 00:32:22.390
and I was coming up on a, I had one of my headlights

00:32:22.390 --> 00:32:24.210
was out. So I was driving them on a bright sun

00:32:24.210 --> 00:32:27.210
and I didn't realize it when I came off the freeway,

00:32:27.450 --> 00:32:29.009
they were still on because I usually just turn

00:32:29.009 --> 00:32:31.190
them off. Yeah. until I could get that headlight

00:32:31.190 --> 00:32:34.150
fixed, right? And I'm coming off the freeway

00:32:34.150 --> 00:32:36.950
and the brights are still on, and I see the checkpoint,

00:32:37.650 --> 00:32:40.309
and I'm like, I usually, I don't like dealing

00:32:40.309 --> 00:32:42.809
with the cops around here. I just don't like

00:32:42.809 --> 00:32:45.390
dealing with them. Well, Roanard Park police

00:32:45.390 --> 00:32:50.730
are kind of, they're sketchy. Yeah. So I turned

00:32:50.730 --> 00:32:53.230
right by Rayleigh's shopping center to get to

00:32:53.230 --> 00:32:54.750
my house, because that's the other way I could

00:32:54.750 --> 00:32:58.789
go. And I got pulled over, right? And the guy

00:32:58.789 --> 00:33:00.900
was like, hey, You know, you look, you got your

00:33:00.900 --> 00:33:02.359
head, you got, what do you have your brights

00:33:02.359 --> 00:33:04.359
on? And I was like, oh, I just got off of work

00:33:04.359 --> 00:33:07.279
and I was getting off the freeway, yadda, dadda,

00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:09.539
dadda. Right. And he was like, oh, do you have

00:33:09.539 --> 00:33:11.359
a headlight out? And I was honest with him. I'm

00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:13.980
like, yeah, I got a headlight out. And he asked

00:33:13.980 --> 00:33:15.960
me for my laces. He checked my shit and I was

00:33:15.960 --> 00:33:18.380
clean. And he came back and he was like, okay,

00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:20.119
just, you know, when he pulled, get off the freeway

00:33:20.119 --> 00:33:22.680
until you get that fixed. I just turn off the

00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:25.829
brights. And I was like, holy shit, that's like

00:33:25.829 --> 00:33:28.250
almost never, like the guy pulled me over inside

00:33:28.250 --> 00:33:31.390
the Rayleigh shopping center. And I was like,

00:33:31.529 --> 00:33:33.069
I've never gotten away with it. He's like, I'm

00:33:33.069 --> 00:33:35.029
not gonna write you a ticket or anything because

00:33:35.029 --> 00:33:37.309
he asked me what I did for work and I told him

00:33:37.309 --> 00:33:40.049
and I was like, I just got off like a 10 hour

00:33:40.049 --> 00:33:43.150
shift. So he's like, okay, yeah, just get that

00:33:43.150 --> 00:33:47.549
fixed. So yeah, and then I got it fixed the next

00:33:47.549 --> 00:33:52.000
day. Well, headlights are easy enough. Pop the

00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:54.500
thing out, put a new bulb in, there you go. Bingo

00:33:54.500 --> 00:33:56.880
-bungo. Yeah, I just don't mess around with that

00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:59.839
kind of shit anymore. It's just like you live

00:33:59.839 --> 00:34:02.000
a little, maybe that's why I'm not gonna go to

00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:05.119
hell. Have you ever used the Lord's name in vain?

00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:08.179
Plenty of times. Well, he'll hate you forever

00:34:08.179 --> 00:34:11.659
and peel the skin off you in the fire pit. I

00:34:11.659 --> 00:34:13.059
don't know if that's the hell I'm gonna get,

00:34:13.260 --> 00:34:15.559
Max. You used his name in vain. You're not gonna

00:34:15.559 --> 00:34:18.119
get off easy with the Orc Sex Dungeon. Yeah,

00:34:18.480 --> 00:34:21.329
that's kinda what I want. I mean, tough shit,

00:34:21.889 --> 00:34:24.889
man. Like, if I had a choice in hells, like,

00:34:24.989 --> 00:34:27.949
give me the orc fucking sex dungeon now, repeating

00:34:27.949 --> 00:34:30.789
the same day over and over again. Uh -huh. And

00:34:30.789 --> 00:34:33.090
just being oblivious and I'm just repeating the

00:34:33.090 --> 00:34:36.690
same day over and over again. Yeah. Or the woe

00:34:36.690 --> 00:34:40.269
of knowledgably spending eternity in the pit

00:34:40.269 --> 00:34:44.050
of fire and torment. Yeah. Yeah, like, you just

00:34:44.050 --> 00:34:46.489
know you're in there and it's gonna suck for

00:34:46.489 --> 00:34:49.579
eternity. Yeah. Or the other place to be, the

00:34:49.579 --> 00:34:51.480
other cool, the other, not cool, but the other

00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:53.719
place to be that wouldn't be so bad probably

00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:56.159
would be, what's the place between heaven and

00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:59.900
hell? Purgatory? Purgatory. Okay, like traditionally,

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.559
do you know what purgatory really is? Not traditionally,

00:35:02.860 --> 00:35:05.159
no. I mean, I don't know. I just know it's a

00:35:05.159 --> 00:35:07.500
place where spirits go that just can't go to

00:35:07.500 --> 00:35:10.159
either heaven or hell. So it's purgatory because

00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:13.000
that's where they purge the sin out of you before

00:35:13.000 --> 00:35:15.179
they can let you into heaven. Everybody's got

00:35:15.179 --> 00:35:18.320
some sin. Right. So for some period of time,

00:35:18.500 --> 00:35:21.840
whether it's 15 minutes or 15 ,000 years, nobody

00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:25.480
knows, but they will peel the skin off your living

00:35:25.480 --> 00:35:28.380
body in the pit. Yeah. Until all the skin has

00:35:28.380 --> 00:35:31.639
been purged. No, it's the same fucking thing.

00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:33.920
It's just for a limited period of time instead

00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:35.099
of forever. So maybe it would be better if I

00:35:35.099 --> 00:35:37.480
was just a lost soul and I just haunted people.

00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:41.199
And I would hump a fuck out of people. Yeah.

00:35:41.980 --> 00:35:44.019
Just pick somebody random and just fucking haunt

00:35:44.019 --> 00:35:45.900
their house. You don't have to pick someone.

00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:49.380
I mean, pick someone. Pick someone. Like, find

00:35:49.380 --> 00:35:51.139
someone who you're really interested in haunting.

00:35:51.420 --> 00:35:54.320
Just be like, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

00:35:54.460 --> 00:35:56.380
And just fuck with them. Here's the thing about

00:35:56.380 --> 00:35:59.599
purgatory. It is a limited amount of time followed

00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:03.679
by eternity. in the light of the Lord. Right,

00:36:03.900 --> 00:36:06.280
and I assume heaven would be your personal, whatever

00:36:06.280 --> 00:36:08.019
your personal heaven would be, you know what

00:36:08.019 --> 00:36:10.639
I mean? However bad hell is, heaven should be

00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:12.480
that good. Right. You would think. Yeah, you

00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:15.699
would think. Yeah. So, but having a God -fearing,

00:36:15.940 --> 00:36:18.780
being a God -fearing person though, would you

00:36:18.780 --> 00:36:21.960
be afraid that heaven would be that good? What

00:36:21.960 --> 00:36:23.559
do you mean afraid that it would be that good?

00:36:23.599 --> 00:36:27.260
Like if you fear God. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And

00:36:27.260 --> 00:36:30.659
your promise is paradise of heaven. Don't know.

00:36:30.659 --> 00:36:32.679
I just think it would be like a too big of a

00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:35.139
promise for somebody like that's too big of a

00:36:35.139 --> 00:36:37.820
thing to actually think it's true I just rabbit

00:36:37.820 --> 00:36:40.440
fear God. I don't know that didn't make sense.

00:36:40.440 --> 00:36:44.619
No You're saying somebody would believe in hell

00:36:44.619 --> 00:36:47.300
and be like but heaven sounds too good to be

00:36:47.300 --> 00:36:51.179
true. Yeah No, yeah, he'll send my soul to a

00:36:51.179 --> 00:36:54.920
pit of eternal torment and torture But heaven

00:36:54.920 --> 00:36:57.000
seems too good to be true. But what do you really

00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:00.590
hope for is inky blackness? would it really be

00:37:00.590 --> 00:37:03.130
like paradise? You know what I mean? I guess.

00:37:04.210 --> 00:37:05.969
I don't know. Anyway, I think that's gonna do

00:37:05.969 --> 00:37:08.590
it for our episode. Yeah. We've been going on.

00:37:08.730 --> 00:37:11.230
And look, we're not experts in God. And we're

00:37:11.230 --> 00:37:14.489
not spiritual. Well, kind of. But we're not fucking...

00:37:14.489 --> 00:37:16.550
We're not religious. We're not religious. We

00:37:16.550 --> 00:37:19.150
don't go to church. No. We don't read any holy

00:37:19.150 --> 00:37:22.190
books. But I was just curious why people say

00:37:22.190 --> 00:37:25.449
on their dating profile, I'm looking for a God

00:37:25.449 --> 00:37:27.550
-feared man. Yeah, they just want someone who

00:37:27.550 --> 00:37:32.179
takes their religion seriously. And by their

00:37:32.179 --> 00:37:34.480
religion, I don't mean they're looking for a

00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:37.900
man who takes his religion seriously. They look

00:37:37.900 --> 00:37:41.719
for a man who takes seriously as his own the

00:37:41.719 --> 00:37:44.460
religion that that woman believes. Right. I got

00:37:44.460 --> 00:37:47.860
it. Yeah. So that's going to do it for our episode.

00:37:48.219 --> 00:37:50.679
Hope you guys listen to the whole thing. Yeah.

00:37:51.820 --> 00:37:54.139
And until next time, people. Yeah. Don't show

00:37:54.139 --> 00:37:57.500
yourself in Costco while making eye contact.

00:37:58.909 --> 00:38:01.110
And being like, yeah, what you gonna do about

00:38:01.110 --> 00:38:04.730
it? Don't do that. Don't. Do it on public transportation.

00:38:04.989 --> 00:38:08.429
Don't do it. Anywhere. Until next time, people,

00:38:08.449 --> 00:38:39.139
don't be a dick. All right. free audio post -production

00:38:39.139 --> 00:38:41.980
by alphonic .com