A.K.A Ralph Longfellow

WEBVTT

00:00:29.469 --> 00:00:31.570
Hey, welcome back to The Shane and I Show. My

00:00:31.570 --> 00:00:34.630
name is Shane. My name is Max. The wall is beige.

00:00:34.909 --> 00:00:36.969
You know, I've used that one before. I've used

00:00:36.969 --> 00:00:40.649
that one before. My name is Max and kitty litter

00:00:40.649 --> 00:00:45.909
is everywhere. Is it? Yeah. You even heard the

00:00:45.909 --> 00:00:49.929
thud. Maybe that'll stay. Maybe the edit will

00:00:49.929 --> 00:00:52.969
wipe it. Who knows? Maybe. Oh, did the dog get

00:00:52.969 --> 00:00:55.689
in the kitty litter? No, fortunately, no. Didn't

00:00:55.689 --> 00:00:59.049
have to deal with any shit pukes today. But the

00:00:59.049 --> 00:01:01.210
cats track it all over the place. So I got a

00:01:01.210 --> 00:01:03.990
new litter, madam. Oh, damn cats. That's why

00:01:03.990 --> 00:01:08.010
I don't like cats. Cats are great. There are

00:01:08.010 --> 00:01:09.909
just certain things you have to deal with. Right.

00:01:10.209 --> 00:01:12.010
Like, hey, this is the podcast about nothing.

00:01:12.049 --> 00:01:14.709
That makes you think of something. And we're

00:01:14.709 --> 00:01:18.930
back. We're back. We're back here. We made it

00:01:18.930 --> 00:01:21.549
for August. We made it. Consider this proof of

00:01:21.549 --> 00:01:25.450
life. Shane and Max are alive and well. We're

00:01:25.450 --> 00:01:27.609
alive and well, and we're doing a podcast. We're

00:01:27.609 --> 00:01:31.810
doing a podcast. So, uh, thank God this is a

00:01:31.810 --> 00:01:33.810
podcast about nothing, dude, because I was again,

00:01:34.150 --> 00:01:35.950
I'm like, dude, what am I gonna talk about? When

00:01:35.950 --> 00:01:38.250
we don't do this enough, I go through this shit

00:01:38.250 --> 00:01:40.109
where I'm like, you probably don't do it, but

00:01:40.109 --> 00:01:41.549
I go through this shit where I'm like, what am

00:01:41.549 --> 00:01:43.930
I gonna fucking talk about? I'm very comfortable

00:01:43.930 --> 00:01:47.390
just winging it. And honestly, man, our best

00:01:47.390 --> 00:01:51.250
episodes... Are the ones where we don't... Actually,

00:01:51.329 --> 00:01:53.730
our very best ones are where we go in with an

00:01:53.730 --> 00:01:56.549
idea. Right. And it goes off the rails and somewhere

00:01:56.549 --> 00:01:58.890
else. Right. I mean, I only have one thing that

00:01:58.890 --> 00:02:01.150
I thought of today. Yeah. A couple things. Uh

00:02:01.150 --> 00:02:02.829
-huh. And one thing that I thought was kind of

00:02:02.829 --> 00:02:08.009
funny. Yeah. Was the time... I was thinking about

00:02:08.009 --> 00:02:10.069
it. Mm -hmm. With states that I wouldn't live

00:02:10.069 --> 00:02:13.939
in because I would die. Because you would die.

00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:16.300
Because I would die. Oh, tell me, this sounds

00:02:16.300 --> 00:02:19.919
fun. Yes. Why would you die? Where are these

00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:22.319
states? I'm going to tell you the states so you

00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:24.139
can figure out why I would die. Tell me the states.

00:02:24.699 --> 00:02:26.280
As a man, moving to these states would just be

00:02:26.280 --> 00:02:29.539
a bad idea for me. Okay. Okay. Alright. Number

00:02:29.539 --> 00:02:35.180
one, by far, by far is Miami. Miami's not a state.

00:02:35.719 --> 00:02:40.000
Well, okay, Florida, Miami, the city. Specifically

00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:43.689
Miami. Yes. You would die. In a week. In a week.

00:02:43.729 --> 00:02:47.270
In a week. In Miami. Just too much shit. Oh,

00:02:47.370 --> 00:02:50.789
I get, you'd be, you'd be drowning in Poon Tang.

00:02:50.909 --> 00:02:52.889
With that, and then you'd be - And then you'd

00:02:52.889 --> 00:02:56.430
expire from drowning. Yes, I'd expire, and then

00:02:56.430 --> 00:02:58.969
it'd just be, you know, face, people eating face,

00:02:59.129 --> 00:03:01.370
people eating faces because of bath salts, all

00:03:01.370 --> 00:03:03.650
kinds of weird Florida shit going on. I feel

00:03:03.650 --> 00:03:06.229
like people don't do bath salts anymore. I just

00:03:06.229 --> 00:03:09.009
don't think they make the nooks. That's entirely

00:03:09.009 --> 00:03:11.389
possible. I think it's probably more commonplace

00:03:11.389 --> 00:03:13.229
in a place like Florida. People are like, oh,

00:03:13.250 --> 00:03:15.090
that guy's eating that guy's face. It's bastards.

00:03:15.490 --> 00:03:21.389
That was like one time 15 years ago. It's still

00:03:21.389 --> 00:03:25.129
pretty good. It is. It is. All that said, man,

00:03:25.189 --> 00:03:26.949
there's more drugs out there than there used

00:03:26.949 --> 00:03:30.050
to be. Yeah. It was like every chemist in the

00:03:30.050 --> 00:03:33.439
world is like, dude, we can make a killing. Inventing

00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:36.240
drugs and selling them to Americans. Plus, plus

00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:39.180
I figure if I had to move to Miami I would probably

00:03:39.180 --> 00:03:41.300
be pretty loaded because Miami is not a cheap

00:03:41.300 --> 00:03:44.539
place to live. It's cheaper than here? I don't

00:03:44.539 --> 00:03:47.560
think it's cheaper than here. Uh, yeah, maybe.

00:03:48.039 --> 00:03:51.280
Right? Dude, it would just be over. It would

00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:53.479
just be done. I'd be six feet under. They'd be

00:03:53.479 --> 00:03:55.139
like, what'd that guy die of? And you'd be like,

00:03:55.159 --> 00:03:57.180
too much. You know what you could do? You could

00:03:57.180 --> 00:04:01.539
go live with the manatees. I could. I mean, it's

00:04:01.539 --> 00:04:06.830
a felony. Yeah. But if you work at it real hard,

00:04:06.909 --> 00:04:09.569
you could probably disguise yourself as a manatee.

00:04:09.889 --> 00:04:11.490
Miami looks like one of those places that you

00:04:11.490 --> 00:04:16.269
go to if you want to live out your existing days

00:04:16.269 --> 00:04:22.110
and just end it. You know what I mean? Do a Leaving

00:04:22.110 --> 00:04:25.230
Las Vegas? Yeah, like a Leaving Las Vegas scenario,

00:04:25.449 --> 00:04:27.810
right? Perfect. I mean, Miami would be great

00:04:27.810 --> 00:04:30.550
for a really coked up Leaving Las Vegas. Yeah,

00:04:30.550 --> 00:04:33.410
right? Yeah. Yeah, you just you just be dead.

00:04:33.470 --> 00:04:36.389
I mean just as a single dude in Miami. Yeah,

00:04:36.449 --> 00:04:38.730
I'm done. All right. I'm done. There just be

00:04:38.730 --> 00:04:43.069
too much All right on the flip side. Yep Seattle,

00:04:43.129 --> 00:04:47.269
Washington Rainy rainy depressed depressed. I

00:04:47.269 --> 00:04:49.689
wouldn't leave my house sad sad you go out like

00:04:49.689 --> 00:04:54.529
Kurt Cobain. Yeah Yeah, but dude, I couldn't

00:04:54.529 --> 00:04:57.610
survive Seattle cuz it's dirt fucking 95 % of

00:04:57.610 --> 00:05:00.540
the time You're thinking Alaska, and that's only

00:05:00.540 --> 00:05:02.120
for a couple months of the year. No, I'm talking

00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:04.160
it's dark because it's so - Because of the rain.

00:05:04.199 --> 00:05:06.220
Because of the rain. Yeah, that's like the whole

00:05:06.220 --> 00:05:09.680
Pacific Northwest. Yeah, and it's like, I understand

00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:12.459
why people in Seattle do heroin. I get it. Yeah.

00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:15.899
I would be dead. I think I get why people anywhere

00:05:15.899 --> 00:05:19.660
do heroin, especially Seattle. Yeah. Right. I'd

00:05:19.660 --> 00:05:24.819
be dead. All right. I'd probably survive Seattle

00:05:24.819 --> 00:05:28.360
longer than Miami. Miami, I just know, one week.

00:05:29.060 --> 00:05:31.720
Now, I have to admit, because I'm thinking about

00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:35.240
it. Right. And you'd be hard pressed to find

00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:38.839
any place in the world that's nicer to live than

00:05:38.839 --> 00:05:42.399
where we live, right? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't

00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:45.660
wanna die here. You know what I mean? Right,

00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:47.360
this is a place you don't wanna die. This is

00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:49.160
a place you wanna live. It's comfortable. You

00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:51.079
have something to live for. The weather's great.

00:05:51.180 --> 00:05:53.579
Yeah, if only the weather, yeah. Right? I don't

00:05:53.579 --> 00:05:56.680
have to worry about hurricanes here. The only

00:05:56.680 --> 00:05:58.540
thing I gotta worry about here is some earthquakes,

00:05:58.620 --> 00:06:01.879
and I'm okay with that. Yeah. Because we haven't

00:06:01.879 --> 00:06:07.709
had the big one since 1995, 96. There was a big

00:06:07.709 --> 00:06:11.389
one in 89. Yeah. And you know the funny story

00:06:11.389 --> 00:06:15.410
about that? 1989 one. What? Two weeks before

00:06:15.410 --> 00:06:18.709
it happened. Yeah. I moved to Colorado. Oh, you

00:06:18.709 --> 00:06:21.029
missed it. Yeah. It's one of my earliest memories.

00:06:21.149 --> 00:06:23.290
Yeah. I was completely missed. Yeah, I was four

00:06:23.290 --> 00:06:26.089
years old. Yeah. And I was like, no, I was five.

00:06:26.310 --> 00:06:28.810
I just, no, I was four. I was four or five. I

00:06:28.810 --> 00:06:31.029
was like a sophomore in high school, maybe a

00:06:31.029 --> 00:06:34.370
junior. No. Was one of the one of those I know

00:06:34.370 --> 00:06:37.529
I know for a fact what I remember is we had moved

00:06:37.529 --> 00:06:40.550
to Denver Mm -hmm, or I had moved to Denver earlier

00:06:40.550 --> 00:06:44.509
to start school. Yeah And I'm like two weeks

00:06:44.509 --> 00:06:48.310
later The earthquake happened. God damn. I'm

00:06:48.310 --> 00:06:50.709
like glad I don't live in California. You missed

00:06:50.709 --> 00:06:53.649
a cool ride Yeah, I remember. Well, it was snack

00:06:53.649 --> 00:06:57.810
time, man And and and and the people at the at

00:06:57.810 --> 00:06:59.730
the preschool were like, alright everybody we've

00:06:59.730 --> 00:07:02.819
done the drill get under the table Duck and cover

00:07:02.819 --> 00:07:05.980
and so we all did it right and then my friend

00:07:05.980 --> 00:07:08.879
Jared Jones He's under the table and he realizes.

00:07:08.920 --> 00:07:11.100
Oh, he's still hungry So he reaches up over the

00:07:11.100 --> 00:07:13.399
table to grab his fruit snacks and brings him

00:07:13.399 --> 00:07:16.740
back down with him and I really Jones Yeah, you

00:07:16.740 --> 00:07:19.620
know friend named Jared Jones. I did I think

00:07:19.620 --> 00:07:23.680
porn star name it really is Anyway, and I remember

00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:26.300
thinking to myself I shit you not this was my

00:07:26.300 --> 00:07:30.620
thought man. Jared's so cool And now he's in

00:07:30.620 --> 00:07:33.879
poor. Now he's in poor. He's even cooler now.

00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:39.939
Jared Jones in Dirty Nurses 5. Yeah. Makes you

00:07:39.939 --> 00:07:42.279
wonder what happened in Dirty Nurses 1 through

00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:51.459
4. Well, I'm imagining penetration. Oh, Jared,

00:07:51.540 --> 00:07:53.600
what's his last name again? You know, probably

00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:55.959
shouldn't keep saying the full name of another

00:07:55.959 --> 00:07:59.360
human being on the podcast. Probably not. Yeah.

00:07:59.620 --> 00:08:02.120
Let's call him Jared Kaczynski. That's not much

00:08:02.120 --> 00:08:03.879
of a poor name. All right, how about Jared Fogle?

00:08:04.220 --> 00:08:06.319
Wait, no, that one's taken. Yeah, that's not

00:08:06.319 --> 00:08:07.800
much of a poor name either, and that guy's in

00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:09.699
a lot of trouble right now. He's in a lot of

00:08:09.699 --> 00:08:13.220
trouble right now. He's been in a lot of trouble.

00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:15.540
He's not doing so well. He's so hot in jail.

00:08:15.660 --> 00:08:20.009
All right, let's call him Jared Jaredson. How

00:08:20.009 --> 00:08:22.709
much Jared Cherdson that'll work? We'll just

00:08:22.709 --> 00:08:27.350
wait wait wait no Jarob bones Jarob bones and

00:08:27.350 --> 00:08:29.290
that's a porn. That's a good bone. That's a good

00:08:29.290 --> 00:08:31.110
porn. That's a good poor name. That's a good

00:08:31.110 --> 00:08:34.250
male poor name. Yeah Because sometimes you know,

00:08:34.250 --> 00:08:36.950
we're like male porn names. They gotta be they

00:08:36.950 --> 00:08:40.049
gotta be fake as a wrestler Mm -hmm, but they

00:08:40.049 --> 00:08:42.370
gotta be cool. They gotta be cool and they also

00:08:42.370 --> 00:08:45.750
have to be evocative Yeah, right. Like it has

00:08:45.750 --> 00:08:52.620
to evoke something right like like like, um...

00:08:52.620 --> 00:08:55.159
Maybe Ron Jeremy wasn't great. Ron Jeremy wasn't

00:08:55.159 --> 00:08:58.419
great, but the best fake porn male name... Yeah.

00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:01.340
...was in Boogie Nights. Yeah. Dirk Diggler.

00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:04.259
Dirk Diggler. That's a great one. Right. I almost

00:09:04.259 --> 00:09:06.899
said Jeremy Irons, but that's a real actor. That's

00:09:06.899 --> 00:09:09.379
a real accomplished actor. A real accomplished...

00:09:09.379 --> 00:09:11.700
He's a great actor, but also what a great porn

00:09:11.700 --> 00:09:14.379
name. If he wanted to go that direction. I mean,

00:09:14.379 --> 00:09:16.879
he's about 80 now, but still. There's a niche

00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:22.580
for that. He's old, for sure. What else is going

00:09:22.580 --> 00:09:26.220
on? Yeah, Miami, dude. Miami would kill me with

00:09:26.220 --> 00:09:31.120
all the free sex and all that shit. Oh, there's

00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:34.220
a guy. I've not seen one of his videos, but I've

00:09:34.220 --> 00:09:37.820
heard of this guy. A porn guy called Girth Master.

00:09:38.360 --> 00:09:43.580
I have too, actually. Just for some reason, I've

00:09:43.580 --> 00:09:46.870
heard of it. No, he pops up on social media.

00:09:46.909 --> 00:09:49.389
Yeah, that's what it is, social media. Yeah.

00:09:49.629 --> 00:09:51.950
Yeah. We'll call it social media. Yeah, we'll

00:09:51.950 --> 00:09:55.309
call it social media. Yeah. And I'm like, oh,

00:09:55.409 --> 00:09:57.649
well, that's, I mean, that's an evocative name,

00:09:57.649 --> 00:10:01.850
if not super creative. Yeah. Yeah. I think if

00:10:01.850 --> 00:10:03.730
I was going to do that route, I would go like

00:10:03.730 --> 00:10:05.529
the wrestler route, right? Because they always

00:10:05.529 --> 00:10:08.649
have the best name, the best fake names. Yeah.

00:10:09.070 --> 00:10:12.559
Wrestlers. You see, now, I... When I was growing

00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:14.340
up, they said it when you pick your porn name,

00:10:14.600 --> 00:10:17.139
it's the first one is your first pet and the

00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:20.179
second one is the street you grew up on. Which

00:10:20.179 --> 00:10:23.980
for a lot of people is not great. It would be

00:10:23.980 --> 00:10:28.139
like Willow Livingston. Actually, that's not

00:10:28.139 --> 00:10:33.620
terrible. But mine was Ralph Longfellow. That

00:10:33.620 --> 00:10:35.419
sounds pretty good. That's pretty good, right?

00:10:35.460 --> 00:10:38.639
Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. That would even

00:10:38.639 --> 00:10:41.220
make a good wrestling name. It would. It would.

00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:44.299
Like a manager. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah.

00:10:44.299 --> 00:10:46.700
Like a heel manager. That would be a good heel

00:10:46.700 --> 00:10:49.500
manager wrestling name. Yeah. You know what I

00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:52.559
mean? You just be an asshole. And I can do that.

00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:57.340
Yeah. I can do that. When you're in Ralph Logfellow

00:10:57.340 --> 00:11:00.620
persona. Yeah. That's who you are. Yeah. He's

00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:06.309
an asshole. Yeah. Yeah, that's when I'm an asshole.

00:11:06.610 --> 00:11:09.669
That's when you're an asshole. And you could,

00:11:09.889 --> 00:11:13.169
like, let the two worlds combined, because you

00:11:13.169 --> 00:11:15.929
can't keep track of them. And it makes your home

00:11:15.929 --> 00:11:17.830
life. See, I got a whole A &E special about you

00:11:17.830 --> 00:11:20.669
right now. You know, I love it. I love it. Let's

00:11:20.669 --> 00:11:26.129
do this. Ralph Vong Thurmo, juggling porno, being

00:11:26.129 --> 00:11:29.629
a wrestling manager heel, and his home life.

00:11:29.750 --> 00:11:33.570
It is so much. He also... He also played Minor

00:11:33.570 --> 00:11:36.389
League Baseball. He also played Minor League

00:11:36.389 --> 00:11:39.210
Baseball. He wasn't the greatest baseball player.

00:11:40.210 --> 00:11:44.830
Centerfield. Centerfield. Roe Longfellow. Yeah.

00:11:44.950 --> 00:11:48.450
Number 34. Yeah, not Centerfield's too good.

00:11:50.309 --> 00:11:54.009
Rightfield. Rightfield. He wasn't a starter,

00:11:54.149 --> 00:11:57.929
though. He wasn't a starter. Even in Minor Leagues,

00:11:58.049 --> 00:12:00.720
he had barely a shot. Yeah. That's why you went

00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:02.919
to porn. That's why I went to porn. Well, that

00:12:02.919 --> 00:12:07.799
and the dick. And then the WWE came calling.

00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:12.320
Yep. They said, we've seen your videos and we

00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:14.519
think you have what it takes to be a righteous

00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:16.860
heel. A righteous heel. But you're not going

00:12:16.860 --> 00:12:18.720
to wrestle. You're going to be a manager. Yeah.

00:12:19.419 --> 00:12:21.860
You don't have the capability to wrestle. No,

00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:25.259
any porn star definitely has the physical prowess

00:12:25.259 --> 00:12:28.500
to wrestle. Those people are incredible. Yeah.

00:12:29.889 --> 00:12:33.129
but I think I think there'd be like you can't

00:12:33.129 --> 00:12:36.679
be a wrestler right Because oh, you know, maybe

00:12:36.679 --> 00:12:38.960
I would I would like they'd be like, no, no,

00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:41.480
here's the story They hire him to be a wrestler,

00:12:41.980 --> 00:12:44.379
but he keeps trying to fuck his opponents He

00:12:44.379 --> 00:12:46.539
just can't stop trying to fuck it. Like it's

00:12:46.539 --> 00:12:49.460
it's built into him get when he's doing a performance

00:12:49.460 --> 00:12:51.860
He's fucking from all of his years in the pornos,

00:12:51.899 --> 00:12:54.820
right man women. He doesn't care So they're like

00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:57.019
now we can't have him just fucking people on

00:12:57.019 --> 00:12:59.679
stage here. This is a family entertainment thing

00:12:59.679 --> 00:13:03.039
We'll make him a manager Yes, we'll make him

00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:06.320
a manager. We'll make it a manager for undertaker.

00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:14.700
Yeah Yeah Yeah, Ralph Longfellow manages undertaker.

00:13:14.860 --> 00:13:20.100
Mm -hmm I was also listening to this thing on

00:13:20.100 --> 00:13:21.759
serious exam. I'm gonna change the subject now

00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:23.779
because it just popped in my head I figure why

00:13:23.779 --> 00:13:25.559
not? Yeah, you know, we'll get back to we'll

00:13:25.559 --> 00:13:27.259
come back to Ralph Longfellow. Yeah, we will

00:13:27.370 --> 00:13:29.309
We certainly will. I think that's going to be

00:13:29.309 --> 00:13:32.110
the title of this episode. I like it. Ralph Longfellow.

00:13:32.809 --> 00:13:37.450
Ralph Longfellow, attorney -at -law. I was supposed

00:13:37.450 --> 00:13:39.330
to be in the mistaken. That was his first career,

00:13:39.370 --> 00:13:41.549
but he got in trouble for fucking his clients.

00:13:41.690 --> 00:13:44.669
But you did. He realized he had a sexual appetite

00:13:44.669 --> 00:13:46.850
that was too big for life, and being in front

00:13:46.850 --> 00:13:49.690
of the camera would work better. Yeah. Especially

00:13:49.690 --> 00:13:55.710
after being disbarred. Yes, this episode is going

00:13:55.710 --> 00:14:00.549
to be called AKA Ralph Longfellow. Yes. Anyway,

00:14:01.450 --> 00:14:04.929
Dad Rock. Dad Rock. Dad Rock. There's a station

00:14:04.929 --> 00:14:06.809
on Sirius XM that I've been listening to called

00:14:06.809 --> 00:14:10.110
Dad Rock. I bet it's awesome. It's pretty awesome.

00:14:10.250 --> 00:14:12.710
I bet. It's pretty awesome. How fucked up is

00:14:12.710 --> 00:14:15.669
it that - It's pretty fucked up that, you know,

00:14:15.889 --> 00:14:19.730
what they consider Dad Rock is to be music that

00:14:19.730 --> 00:14:23.350
I used to listen to. Yeah. But actually if you

00:14:23.350 --> 00:14:25.950
really think about it the music that I used to

00:14:25.950 --> 00:14:29.809
listen to it's like called classics classic thrash

00:14:29.809 --> 00:14:33.490
It's I mean you can find like the Metallica on

00:14:33.490 --> 00:14:38.990
the oldie station, right? Yeah master we're 60

00:14:38.990 --> 00:14:42.789
Yeah, it's fucking crazy. Anyway, I was thinking

00:14:42.789 --> 00:14:46.889
about this Give me your top. Who do you consider

00:14:46.889 --> 00:14:51.299
like the top three? Voices of dad rock voices

00:14:51.299 --> 00:14:55.600
of the voices of dad rock. Oh That's a good one.

00:14:55.600 --> 00:15:00.320
I'm gonna start With say see top three is tough,

00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:03.200
right? But the first one that comes to mind right

00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:05.960
and it's like you hear this voice and you know

00:15:05.960 --> 00:15:12.440
this voice Fred Durst Yeah, yeah Introducing

00:15:12.440 --> 00:15:16.080
the chocolate starfish and the hot dog flavored

00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:18.879
water. I did it all for the nookie. The what?

00:15:18.940 --> 00:15:22.019
The nookie. You can take my cookie. Yeah. Yeah.

00:15:22.220 --> 00:15:24.639
I could go with Durst, friend Durst. Yeah, remember

00:15:24.639 --> 00:15:26.980
that time he started a riot on purpose at Woodstock?

00:15:27.179 --> 00:15:29.220
Yeah, dude. And he was like, he didn't take no

00:15:29.220 --> 00:15:31.600
responsibility for it. He was like, ew. If you

00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:34.220
see the videos, you can see the gears turning

00:15:34.220 --> 00:15:36.620
in his head. And he's like, should I do it? Should

00:15:36.620 --> 00:15:39.100
I do it? And then he's like. Yeah, you know,

00:15:39.139 --> 00:15:40.820
when am I ever going to get to start a riot?

00:15:41.139 --> 00:15:43.080
What's so great about that is afterwards he's

00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:46.500
just like, I didn't know. How was I supposed

00:15:46.500 --> 00:15:48.580
to know what was going to happen? They told them,

00:15:48.740 --> 00:15:50.940
too. They're like, listen, if you if you do this,

00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:57.100
you will start a riot. He's like, yeah. I got

00:15:57.100 --> 00:16:01.899
to go. I got to go. With the guy from Nickelback.

00:16:02.580 --> 00:16:05.340
Oh, he's a good one. Look at this photograph.

00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:14.720
Yeah. Yeah, man, that's a that's a great yeah,

00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:19.740
yeah Another great one. Here's the thing The

00:16:19.740 --> 00:16:23.240
voice is not all that like some voices are like

00:16:23.240 --> 00:16:26.019
man that guy's got a voice and other ones are

00:16:26.019 --> 00:16:28.840
like That's that's good enough for rock and roll,

00:16:28.899 --> 00:16:31.259
but he can also like shred guitar and write a

00:16:31.259 --> 00:16:38.029
good song So I'm not gonna say Dave Grohl I don't

00:16:38.029 --> 00:16:40.870
think people consider Foo Fighters dad rock yet.

00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:44.509
Really? Maybe, I don't know. I mean, they've

00:16:44.509 --> 00:16:48.570
been making shit since the mid -90s. Yeah, but...

00:16:48.570 --> 00:16:50.950
They've been pumping out hits, like, every year

00:16:50.950 --> 00:16:52.090
since the mid -90s. I've never heard somebody

00:16:52.090 --> 00:16:55.570
say Dave Grohl is dad rock. Dave Grohl's still

00:16:55.570 --> 00:16:57.830
current, somehow. Yeah, somehow he's still...

00:16:57.830 --> 00:16:59.289
Well, it's probably because he's still cranking

00:16:59.289 --> 00:17:02.110
out hits. Yeah. I would go with the guy from

00:17:02.110 --> 00:17:07.720
Creed. That's like my top... Like, I just heard

00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:11.480
the news today. Yeah. They all sound the same.

00:17:11.539 --> 00:17:13.319
They kind of do. They kind of do. Yeah. They

00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:20.700
kind of have their... I just heard, can you take

00:17:20.700 --> 00:17:29.140
me higher? My own prison. Yeah. The guy from,

00:17:29.140 --> 00:17:31.299
the guy, the guy from Kreese is like the top.

00:17:31.840 --> 00:17:34.720
For me, like, he's the top dad rock guy. Yeah,

00:17:34.740 --> 00:17:36.920
no, he's a good dad rock guy. You know what I

00:17:36.920 --> 00:17:39.099
mean? Yeah. And the fact that he has, like, five

00:17:39.099 --> 00:17:41.900
kids, too, so... Good for him? Yeah. Maybe. I

00:17:41.900 --> 00:17:43.519
don't know. I don't care. Do you remember when

00:17:43.519 --> 00:17:45.900
he went all crazy over, and he went all crazy,

00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.000
and it was all, like, over social media? Like,

00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:49.680
he thought the government was coming after him,

00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:51.140
and he was, like, living in the back of his truck

00:17:51.140 --> 00:17:55.200
and shit? I don't. But he's not the first rocker

00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:56.940
to lose his mind. Dude, yeah, no. Like, it was,

00:17:56.940 --> 00:18:01.359
like, a full -on fucking... Like. Manic episode.

00:18:01.420 --> 00:18:04.200
Like full on. And his kid fucking. Paranoid psychosis.

00:18:04.940 --> 00:18:07.220
His fucking kid recorded the whole thing. To

00:18:07.220 --> 00:18:10.759
be like, dude, you're fucking up. You know what's

00:18:10.759 --> 00:18:12.759
really fucked up? Because his kid recorded that

00:18:12.759 --> 00:18:17.079
and then put it on Sony. I'd be like, you are

00:18:17.079 --> 00:18:20.619
not my son anymore. But it was so sad. He's like,

00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:22.279
yeah, I'm living in my truck now because the

00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:24.640
government's after me. They're after what's in

00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:26.690
my head. You could like tell the guy was not

00:18:26.690 --> 00:18:29.009
raps. I'm kind of happy he's like back there

00:18:29.009 --> 00:18:31.190
being healthy. Yeah, because those videos were

00:18:31.190 --> 00:18:35.150
like kind of freaky. Yeah, so Dad rock dude.

00:18:35.390 --> 00:18:39.009
It's fun. Yeah. Hey speaking of freaky and rockers

00:18:39.009 --> 00:18:43.190
and great videos Remember that video of David

00:18:43.190 --> 00:18:45.769
Hasselhoff drunk on the floor? Oh yeah, the hamburger

00:18:45.769 --> 00:18:47.789
video. The hamburger video. That was awesome.

00:18:48.289 --> 00:18:50.309
I watched that video. I always thought David

00:18:50.309 --> 00:18:52.990
Hasselhoff was such a doofus. I did too. And

00:18:52.990 --> 00:18:54.990
I watched that video and I was like, you know

00:18:54.990 --> 00:18:59.029
what? He might be... like my soul brother. Yes.

00:18:59.450 --> 00:19:04.069
I feel that video. I do too. It made me laugh

00:19:04.069 --> 00:19:07.049
at first. Yeah. And then I felt it because I'm

00:19:07.049 --> 00:19:09.710
like, dude, I've been there. Yeah. I may not

00:19:09.710 --> 00:19:11.690
have been eating a fucking cheeseburger off the

00:19:11.690 --> 00:19:14.890
floor, all drunk. But I was certainly eating

00:19:14.890 --> 00:19:17.250
something off the floor. Eating something off

00:19:17.250 --> 00:19:21.230
the floor and being that hammer. And just like,

00:19:21.529 --> 00:19:23.289
you can tell in that video, I remember that because

00:19:23.289 --> 00:19:27.880
he's like swaying. Oh, yeah. He's hammered. Oh,

00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:33.559
yeah. He's just loaded. At first, the first couple

00:19:33.559 --> 00:19:36.859
of watches, you're laughing because it's hysterical.

00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:38.660
And then you're like, if you're an alcoholic

00:19:38.660 --> 00:19:42.720
like I am, you look at it from a different perspective.

00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:45.880
You're like, oh, man, I feel that. That was me.

00:19:46.519 --> 00:19:50.819
You know what? I honestly, I can honestly say,

00:19:51.460 --> 00:19:54.869
as kind of gross as it is. Right. I miss those

00:19:54.869 --> 00:20:00.069
moments. Yeah, sometimes. I do too sometimes,

00:20:00.250 --> 00:20:03.529
but it was never like... There was never a time

00:20:03.529 --> 00:20:07.089
where it was like... At least for me. Just all

00:20:07.089 --> 00:20:09.690
fun without a father? Yeah, it was all fun where

00:20:09.690 --> 00:20:13.539
I was like I had a home and I could like... And

00:20:13.539 --> 00:20:15.180
like, order a cheeseburger and eat it off the

00:20:15.180 --> 00:20:19.200
floor. Like, that's like living. Like, for me

00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:21.680
it was like studio apartment with fucking water

00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:26.339
all over the floor, fucking mold. Yeah, you weren't

00:20:26.339 --> 00:20:28.859
doing the hassle off. I have a fold -out fucking

00:20:28.859 --> 00:20:31.819
couch that can't fold back in, so I just left

00:20:31.819 --> 00:20:36.720
it. And I'd be fucking hammered just sitting

00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:39.720
on the floor playing Nintendo 85 or something

00:20:39.720 --> 00:20:43.990
like that. football game, Nintendo 85. For a

00:20:43.990 --> 00:20:46.369
second I thought you invented a fucking console

00:20:46.369 --> 00:20:49.210
that didn't exist. No. It was like Nintendo from

00:20:49.210 --> 00:20:52.410
like 1985. The only game I had was the football

00:20:52.410 --> 00:20:55.910
game. Okay. So the only good team on that game

00:20:55.910 --> 00:21:00.349
was the 85 Bears. All right. You had the fridge?

00:21:00.609 --> 00:21:06.380
Yeah. Yeah. I was never like... Don't know man

00:21:06.380 --> 00:21:08.180
it like I always think about it like what if

00:21:08.180 --> 00:21:11.180
I had my shit together mm -hmm would that prolong

00:21:11.180 --> 00:21:15.259
without a prolonged the inevitable like would

00:21:15.259 --> 00:21:18.559
that prolong me into like a fucking sea of like

00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:22.960
Despair and like you know what I mean like Think

00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:26.480
about it like this Here's here's here's here's

00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:28.720
how you figure that out right cuz you can actually

00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:32.200
answer that question and here's a fear that Put

00:21:32.200 --> 00:21:35.859
yourself in the shoes of that same guy that you

00:21:35.859 --> 00:21:38.539
were. Oh, the same guy I was? Same guy you were.

00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:42.559
Now put him in a nice apartment. Doesn't have

00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:44.660
to be anything extravagant, but he's got a nice

00:21:44.660 --> 00:21:47.359
apartment and he's got a cushion of like three

00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:49.599
months living expenses. That would never happen.

00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:52.279
And a stocked liquor thing, but just put him

00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:55.440
there. Right. Right. And then play the tape forward

00:21:55.440 --> 00:22:00.400
three months. I'd be dead. There you go. I'd

00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:04.029
be dead. There you go. Yeah, but there's no question

00:22:04.029 --> 00:22:07.509
dude. Yeah, I'd be like I would go into my I'd

00:22:07.509 --> 00:22:09.710
go into my miserable phase. Yeah, where I would

00:22:09.710 --> 00:22:12.769
listen to like What was that band that I used

00:22:12.769 --> 00:22:14.650
to like listening to when I was miserable and

00:22:14.650 --> 00:22:17.759
it was so good more feet The belt morphine. I'd

00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:19.579
never heard of them, but it sounds appropriate.

00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:22.180
Oh my god, they're so brilliant. Like their songs

00:22:22.180 --> 00:22:25.099
are so miserable, but they're so good. Are they,

00:22:25.220 --> 00:22:27.839
what's the genre? Like they would be considered

00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:30.380
alternative. Okay. But they weren't like your,

00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:32.400
they were like, they like had a low tuned bass

00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:34.539
and a saxophone and a drummer. Like they didn't,

00:22:34.700 --> 00:22:37.619
it wasn't your typical alternative shit. Right.

00:22:37.700 --> 00:22:41.599
Right. And they were so good. So good. All right.

00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:43.740
And when I was ever, when I got into my depressed,

00:22:43.900 --> 00:22:47.210
like fucking. There's one album that I listened

00:22:47.210 --> 00:22:50.890
to by them on repeat like close to the end when

00:22:50.890 --> 00:22:53.230
I was getting loaded I would listen to it on

00:22:53.230 --> 00:22:57.789
repeat and it was like the it was like as sad

00:22:57.789 --> 00:23:01.589
as it was It was like dead. Yeah, because for

00:23:01.589 --> 00:23:03.210
that time when I was listening to that album

00:23:03.210 --> 00:23:09.309
and I had that 40 of steel reserve Oh, yeah,

00:23:09.849 --> 00:23:12.210
everything was okay. Yeah, you know what I mean?

00:23:12.230 --> 00:23:14.579
I do know what you mean Like, everything was

00:23:14.579 --> 00:23:17.519
good, and I had a couple cigarette butts. Yeah.

00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:21.220
Not full packs of cigarettes, because that means

00:23:21.220 --> 00:23:23.039
that I was actually able to... You were doing

00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:24.900
good at that. I was actually able to get a pack

00:23:24.900 --> 00:23:29.640
of cigarettes and a 40 a beer. Right. It's either

00:23:29.640 --> 00:23:33.220
the 40 a beer, the 40 odds is a beer. Or the

00:23:33.220 --> 00:23:34.559
pack of cigarettes. Or the pack of cigarettes.

00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:36.380
And the beer always went out. You know, there's

00:23:36.380 --> 00:23:38.039
enough butts on the ground that you can roll

00:23:38.039 --> 00:23:38.960
them off. There's enough butts. I had enough

00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:40.900
butts around the house, because I would save

00:23:40.900 --> 00:23:44.640
them on purpose. Yeah, there you go. And I listened

00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:47.759
to that album man, and I just I heard because

00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:49.720
they're the reason I was thinking about this

00:23:49.720 --> 00:23:51.599
is because one of their songs came up on one

00:23:51.599 --> 00:23:56.619
of my One of my playlists the other day And I

00:23:56.619 --> 00:23:59.039
was thinking back to it brought me back to like

00:23:59.039 --> 00:24:04.319
this really like the pressing Because it's funny

00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:09.240
maybe to other people wasn't so depressed it

00:24:09.240 --> 00:24:11.140
but to me it was pretty depressing You know what

00:24:11.140 --> 00:24:15.779
I mean? And, like, I'm drinking the Steel Reserve.

00:24:15.819 --> 00:24:18.019
I just pictured it. The song brought me right

00:24:18.019 --> 00:24:20.500
back to, like, just sitting in this little studio

00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:22.859
apartment, drinking this little 40 of Steel Reserve,

00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:25.539
listening to this album. I listened to the This,

00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:30.640
That Morphine record and Eminem. Eminem, the

00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:34.200
second album. You know, the song with the...

00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:36.809
I don't actually know any of his albums. Not

00:24:36.809 --> 00:24:39.130
the real, uh, what was that song on it that he

00:24:39.130 --> 00:24:40.890
was making fun of Fred Durst and all those people

00:24:40.890 --> 00:24:42.890
on it. Does it matter? It doesn't matter, but

00:24:42.890 --> 00:24:45.390
those were the two records I listened to. Yes.

00:24:46.309 --> 00:24:48.710
Constantly. When I was loaded. Alright, yeah.

00:24:48.970 --> 00:24:54.769
I played Nintendo 85. But it was never, it was

00:24:54.769 --> 00:24:57.009
never a thing where, it was never a thing where

00:24:57.009 --> 00:24:59.490
it was like, uh, that's as good as it got. It's

00:24:59.490 --> 00:25:01.910
like really as good as it got. No, I, I, I getcha.

00:25:02.140 --> 00:25:05.099
I can so identify, like some of the details are

00:25:05.099 --> 00:25:07.960
different, but I get that, that I fully get that.

00:25:07.960 --> 00:25:10.519
And I still thought, I still thought, like, it's

00:25:10.519 --> 00:25:14.799
not a problem. It's not a problem. And I think

00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:17.079
back to it now, like, I think back to it now,

00:25:17.140 --> 00:25:20.819
like, I'm like, dude, like, I'm so happy that

00:25:20.819 --> 00:25:25.000
I survived that. Because that was not a way to

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:30.839
live. No. And by the end, it was bad. Yeah. Anyway,

00:25:31.180 --> 00:25:32.500
let's get it. I don't know why we got on that

00:25:32.500 --> 00:25:35.779
tangent. Well, it doesn't matter because I have

00:25:35.779 --> 00:25:38.940
a brighter tangent. Good. I do too. I went to

00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:42.000
a show the other day. Which show? It was the

00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:44.500
headliner. The headliner. The headliner? Yeah.

00:25:44.700 --> 00:25:48.480
The headliner was Trombone Shorty, who I'd never

00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:51.180
heard of. Never heard of me. Yeah, he's like

00:25:51.180 --> 00:25:55.900
a New Orleans kind of like new New Orleans jazz

00:25:55.900 --> 00:26:02.059
rock Guy anyway, you know, okay, but the opening

00:26:02.059 --> 00:26:05.579
act was I I would the whole thing was worth it

00:26:05.579 --> 00:26:07.259
just for the opening act Who was the opening?

00:26:07.900 --> 00:26:11.140
St. Paul and the broken bones just a name sounds

00:26:11.140 --> 00:26:15.200
cool, dude the first off I'd never heard of St.

00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:17.839
Paul. I'd never heard of any of these guys. But

00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:23.180
St. Paul in Broken Bones comes out and they've

00:26:23.180 --> 00:26:26.680
got three horns, they got a guitar, a keyboardist,

00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:30.299
a bass, and then this dude comes on stage dressed

00:26:30.299 --> 00:26:33.539
in a full, like, preacher's robe. Except the

00:26:33.539 --> 00:26:36.920
whole thing is gold sequins. And he's even got

00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:40.269
matching gold sequin slippers. that's a show

00:26:40.269 --> 00:26:43.349
dude dude and he's like he's like doing the whole

00:26:43.349 --> 00:26:46.809
holy man act and then he starts singing by the

00:26:46.809 --> 00:26:49.369
way the music is incredible right and he starts

00:26:49.369 --> 00:26:53.109
singing and this guy has maybe the best voice

00:26:53.109 --> 00:26:55.170
i've ever heard in my life what is it like funk

00:26:55.170 --> 00:27:00.410
it is it's like a it's like a funky r &b mixed

00:27:00.410 --> 00:27:04.230
with some southern rock it's real dude saint

00:27:04.230 --> 00:27:06.930
paul and the broken bones if you haven't heard

00:27:06.930 --> 00:27:11.079
them fucking Do it and if you have a chance to

00:27:11.079 --> 00:27:14.279
see them in concert do it do it They put on a

00:27:14.279 --> 00:27:16.220
show one of the best shows ever see can I tell

00:27:16.220 --> 00:27:17.720
you the best show that I've ever been to in my

00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:20.680
whole life? Yeah, like whole life. This is no

00:27:20.680 --> 00:27:23.880
joke. Yeah, all the heavy music I've seen all

00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:26.299
the like rock stuff I've seen the best show I've

00:27:26.299 --> 00:27:29.200
ever been to in my whole life. I saw James Brown

00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:34.019
At Caesars in Tahoe. Yeah He was he had to be

00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:37.279
like pushing old like I don't know how old he

00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:40.279
was. Yeah had to be at least 70 -something. Yeah,

00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:43.019
but cocaine will keep you on your feet. He put

00:27:43.019 --> 00:27:45.759
on the most amazing show I've ever seen in my

00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:48.599
life. That's what I hear. Like, it was so good.

00:27:49.500 --> 00:27:52.059
So good. Best show I've ever been to in my life.

00:27:52.619 --> 00:27:55.759
You know, Mick Jagger was once asked in an interview

00:27:55.759 --> 00:27:58.059
whether he had any regrets in his career, and

00:27:58.059 --> 00:28:00.839
he said his only regret was following James Brown.

00:28:01.160 --> 00:28:03.819
Yeah, dude, I can see why. James Brown puts on

00:28:03.819 --> 00:28:07.240
a show. Yeah. You know, the other thing, we've

00:28:07.240 --> 00:28:09.539
talked about this before on this podcast because

00:28:09.539 --> 00:28:12.200
we're in this music kick. And we'll get back

00:28:12.200 --> 00:28:15.140
to Ralph Longfellow in a minute. I forgot about

00:28:15.140 --> 00:28:19.599
Ralph. I went on a deep dive of Tool. Dude. I

00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:22.259
don't know why I got really into Tool for like

00:28:22.259 --> 00:28:26.359
a week. Dude, yeah. I'm convinced they make up

00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:30.000
their own time signatures. They don't make them

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:33.400
up because, I mean, time signatures exist in

00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:36.880
the universe. Right. But yes, they play very

00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:40.160
fast and loose with time. Yeah, dude, because

00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:42.000
you're like, what did you guys just do? Like,

00:28:42.079 --> 00:28:44.880
I can see why people get all fucking nutsy about

00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:46.720
how they change time signatures in the middle

00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:49.000
of a sign. Like, I get it now, because I went

00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:50.799
on the steep dive. Like, before, I didn't understand,

00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:53.579
because I only liked a few of their songs. I

00:28:53.579 --> 00:28:56.059
still don't understand why people go, oh, did

00:28:56.059 --> 00:28:58.079
you check this out, like, halfway in the middle

00:28:58.079 --> 00:29:01.500
of minute two? Yeah, that kind of ruins it for

00:29:01.500 --> 00:29:04.240
me. I'm very much a vibes and feel it person

00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.359
when I'm listening to music. But, dude, I was

00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:09.319
listening. I'm like, dude, they gotta be making

00:29:09.319 --> 00:29:11.039
that shit up. They gotta just be making that

00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:13.819
shit up as they go. They gotta be like, what

00:29:13.819 --> 00:29:16.220
time signature are we in? They're like, I don't

00:29:16.220 --> 00:29:18.099
know, maybe seven, eight, maybe eight, eight,

00:29:18.220 --> 00:29:20.579
maybe we go seven, eight, five, four, maybe we

00:29:20.579 --> 00:29:24.059
go blink 182. I think they invented a time signature

00:29:24.059 --> 00:29:27.920
called blink 182. That's entirely possible. And

00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:30.259
then Blink -182 just was like, hey, that sounds

00:29:30.259 --> 00:29:32.819
cool. Let's name our four -four band after that.

00:29:33.079 --> 00:29:36.279
Let's name our four -four band Blink -182. You

00:29:36.279 --> 00:29:39.059
know, I'm sure with Travis Berger's, their drummer

00:29:39.059 --> 00:29:41.819
Blink -182 has some great time playing. Yeah,

00:29:41.819 --> 00:29:44.700
I'm sure they do too. But yeah, dude, I was on

00:29:44.700 --> 00:29:48.299
this deep dive kick for like a week. Right, because

00:29:48.299 --> 00:29:50.079
I was really into him when I was listening when

00:29:50.079 --> 00:29:54.700
I was working out. Yeah. And I'm just like, dude.

00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:57.420
I understand why people really like this band,

00:29:57.500 --> 00:29:59.519
because I used to think that it was about the

00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:01.359
lyrics and Maynard writes, and I'm like, dude,

00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:03.339
it's not really about the... It's not about the

00:30:03.339 --> 00:30:05.720
lyrics. It's about the fucking... It's about

00:30:05.720 --> 00:30:08.819
the music. It's like Rush, you know what I mean?

00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:11.500
Like, I just see why people get really into Rush.

00:30:12.579 --> 00:30:15.400
I'm completely unfamiliar with Rush, but I have

00:30:15.400 --> 00:30:18.950
heard people speak about Rush. Yeah, see? They

00:30:18.950 --> 00:30:21.650
speak about Rush the same way they speak about

00:30:21.650 --> 00:30:24.470
Tool. Like, it's like, the people of the fandom,

00:30:24.829 --> 00:30:28.289
who's fucking... They're Boyle, and they nitpick

00:30:28.289 --> 00:30:29.769
everything. That's the one thing I don't like.

00:30:30.069 --> 00:30:32.049
So I talked to a guy at the gym, some guy I don't

00:30:32.049 --> 00:30:34.369
know his name, because you don't ask your friends

00:30:34.369 --> 00:30:36.829
at the gym what their name is. You just don't

00:30:36.829 --> 00:30:39.470
do that. Really? I don't. I've been going to

00:30:39.470 --> 00:30:41.349
the same gym for like years, and I know like

00:30:41.349 --> 00:30:44.589
three guys' names. Alright. Right. What if you're

00:30:44.589 --> 00:30:46.910
like the one guy at the gym, or everybody's like,

00:30:47.210 --> 00:30:48.829
hey, you know that guy over there? And like,

00:30:48.990 --> 00:30:50.430
yeah, no, I've talked with him a bunch of times.

00:30:50.529 --> 00:30:53.089
What's his name again? Nobody knows. He won't

00:30:53.089 --> 00:30:56.089
tell you. Maybe I'm that guy. He might be that

00:30:56.089 --> 00:31:00.890
guy. Maybe I am that guy. But I was talking to

00:31:00.890 --> 00:31:03.029
a guy at the gym, and he was talking to me. I

00:31:03.029 --> 00:31:04.670
was telling him, he asked me who I was listening

00:31:04.670 --> 00:31:06.069
to that day, and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm just

00:31:06.069 --> 00:31:09.049
on this toolkit. He's like, oh, they're the greatest.

00:31:09.890 --> 00:31:13.660
They're the greatest. I was sat in mine for 10

00:31:13.660 --> 00:31:18.099
hours to get tool tickets. I went to Maynard's,

00:31:18.099 --> 00:31:21.500
I went to Maynard's winery and drank the wine

00:31:21.500 --> 00:31:27.200
and... Yeah. Wow. Good for you, buddy. The one

00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:30.539
downside of tool is the fans. Yeah. I'm like,

00:31:30.579 --> 00:31:33.339
that's cool, man. He's like, dude, I had this

00:31:33.339 --> 00:31:35.980
very rare bootleg. If you ever want to listen

00:31:35.980 --> 00:31:38.380
to it, I can email it to you. So you can, I'm

00:31:38.380 --> 00:31:40.799
like, dude, I'm cool. I just, it was just like

00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:43.970
a thing. All right, but if, if, I'm gonna tell

00:31:43.970 --> 00:31:47.690
you this. Right. And I, after, after shit -talking

00:31:47.690 --> 00:31:51.130
tool fans. Right. But if you ever come across

00:31:51.130 --> 00:31:55.890
a copy of the album, Salival. Right. I would

00:31:55.890 --> 00:31:58.930
kill for that. Really? Yeah. Is it rare or something?

00:31:59.150 --> 00:32:01.930
I don't know. I can't find it, man. So yeah,

00:32:02.029 --> 00:32:04.930
it must be rare. I can't fucking find it. I had

00:32:04.930 --> 00:32:08.559
it. I, I... Back in the day when you could like

00:32:08.559 --> 00:32:10.900
get on a network and get access to everybody

00:32:10.900 --> 00:32:14.640
on that network's music Yeah, I I just download

00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:16.359
I was like, oh, hey, I haven't heard of that

00:32:16.359 --> 00:32:18.900
album So I downloaded it didn't even listen to

00:32:18.900 --> 00:32:20.579
it for a year and then I did and I was like,

00:32:20.579 --> 00:32:25.759
oh my god It's fucking incredible No, and I haven't

00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:28.680
been able to find it since after after that iPod

00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:35.140
died Yes Yes, Shane, iPod. And after that iPod

00:32:35.140 --> 00:32:38.579
died, I lost Salival, and I've never gotten it

00:32:38.579 --> 00:32:42.440
back. iPod's killed me. I know a guy that still

00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:46.259
has an iPod One, like one of those old fucking

00:32:46.259 --> 00:32:47.900
ones. I don't know if it's an iPod One, but he

00:32:47.900 --> 00:32:53.259
has an old iPod. And he's like, yeah, the only

00:32:53.259 --> 00:32:55.460
thing that I have a problem with is updating

00:32:55.460 --> 00:32:58.980
music that I like on it. But he has full albums

00:32:58.980 --> 00:33:00.940
on there, like he's an albums guy. Yeah, me too.

00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:03.440
And he's like, but all these albums that I have

00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:04.960
on there are my favorites, and I don't want to

00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:06.660
go out and re -buy them again, so I just keep

00:33:06.660 --> 00:33:09.299
this iPod with all my favorite albums on it.

00:33:09.539 --> 00:33:12.599
I get that. A few years ago, I bit the bullet

00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:14.680
and just got an Apple Music subscription. Right.

00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:17.819
Because I'm like, you know what, like 15 bucks

00:33:17.819 --> 00:33:20.400
a month, and not only do I have access to all

00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:23.579
my albums, except for Salival, god damn it. Might

00:33:23.579 --> 00:33:29.210
be on Spotify. I'll check it out. But also, whenever

00:33:29.210 --> 00:33:31.509
I hear about a band or something, I'm just a

00:33:31.509 --> 00:33:33.049
little curious. I don't have to go out and buy

00:33:33.049 --> 00:33:35.289
an album. I just fucking download it, listen

00:33:35.289 --> 00:33:38.930
to it. Yeah, that's what I need that too. I do

00:33:38.930 --> 00:33:41.680
it a lot. I do it a lot. And sometimes I'm like,

00:33:41.700 --> 00:33:43.500
eh, that was all right. Yeah, I got back from

00:33:43.500 --> 00:33:45.559
that St. Paul and the Broken Bones show. Yeah.

00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:48.799
Well, first, I went to sleep right away. Yeah,

00:33:48.799 --> 00:33:50.460
because you were out late, huh? Yeah. That's

00:33:50.460 --> 00:33:52.420
a whole map. Dude, I was out till 1030 at night.

00:33:52.740 --> 00:33:55.900
Holy shit. Yeah, we left halfway through Trombone

00:33:55.900 --> 00:33:58.440
Shorty. Right. You know, they were OK, whatever.

00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:00.740
Right. But they were no St. Paul and the Broken

00:34:00.740 --> 00:34:02.920
Bones. They were no St. Paul and the Broken Bones.

00:34:03.019 --> 00:34:06.700
Yeah. That's cool, dude. I'll have to check that

00:34:06.700 --> 00:34:12.969
out for sure. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Ralph

00:34:12.969 --> 00:34:16.750
Longfellow. Oh yeah, Ralph Longfellow. Ralph

00:34:16.750 --> 00:34:21.989
Longfellow was actually partners with Sean, what's

00:34:21.989 --> 00:34:24.690
his name, inventing Napster? Oh, that guy. Sean

00:34:24.690 --> 00:34:29.389
Parker. Sean Parker. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't exactly

00:34:29.389 --> 00:34:31.849
partner, but he was like the inspiration for

00:34:31.849 --> 00:34:35.210
Napster. Ralph Longfellow was. He inspired Sean

00:34:35.210 --> 00:34:37.960
Parker to create Napster. Because he was such

00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:41.039
a he the way he lived his life with the way he

00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:46.059
lived. He was so he was so free and sharing With

00:34:46.059 --> 00:34:51.599
his endowment Which you know was about the time

00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:55.039
he got disbarred Ralph Longfellow went saying

00:34:55.039 --> 00:35:01.000
for Creed Yeah Back when Creed was missing or

00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:04.579
was it Stone Temple Pilots? Stone Temple Pilots

00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:07.309
sounds better I like it. When Whelan went off

00:35:07.309 --> 00:35:09.550
his fucking, when Whelan went on a drug bender,

00:35:09.610 --> 00:35:12.130
who did they call to step in? Ralph Longfellow.

00:35:12.230 --> 00:35:17.449
Ralph Longfellow. Yeah. Stepped right in. Right

00:35:17.449 --> 00:35:21.110
after a wrestling gig, when one day, one day

00:35:21.110 --> 00:35:24.110
Ralph Longfellow shot a porn, did a wrestling

00:35:24.110 --> 00:35:27.449
gig, and went and performed with Stodupilots.

00:35:27.750 --> 00:35:33.050
Yeah. Yeah. And the very next day was the day

00:35:33.050 --> 00:35:36.619
of his, uh, like disbarment hearing before the

00:35:36.619 --> 00:35:41.900
Bar Association. And the only reason he got disbarred,

00:35:41.920 --> 00:35:46.119
he says. It's not because of all the clients

00:35:46.119 --> 00:35:48.739
that he fucked. He says the only reason he got

00:35:48.739 --> 00:35:51.780
disbarred was because he was tired from the epic

00:35:51.780 --> 00:35:56.019
day he had before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ruff von

00:35:56.019 --> 00:35:59.420
Fellow is more interesting than the most interesting

00:35:59.420 --> 00:36:02.139
man in the world. The most interesting man in

00:36:02.139 --> 00:36:06.519
the world fantasizes about Ralph Longfellow when

00:36:06.519 --> 00:36:10.179
he's banging his beautiful, interesting women.

00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:13.320
Right. But all he can think about is Ralph Longfellow.

00:36:13.739 --> 00:36:16.159
Right. Hey, you know what? We're a little over

00:36:16.159 --> 00:36:18.260
30 minutes in. I think that's going to tend to

00:36:18.260 --> 00:36:22.360
wrap it up. Yeah, no, that is. 35 -minute episode?

00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:24.920
Yeah. I'll take it. If you've listened to us

00:36:24.920 --> 00:36:27.000
all the way through, thank you. We appreciate

00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:28.900
it. Yeah. This one went a bit off the rails.

00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:30.780
It went a bit off the rails, but hey, we laughed.

00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:33.320
Yeah. Maybe you guys laughed with us. Yeah. And

00:36:33.320 --> 00:36:35.639
if not, I don't really care. Yeah, whatever.

00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:39.719
Yeah. It is what it is. Unless you want to, like,

00:36:40.099 --> 00:36:42.820
do we have a GoFundMe or something? No, but they

00:36:42.820 --> 00:36:44.880
can if they want to go to our website, ShaneAndIShow

00:36:44.880 --> 00:36:47.380
.com. Yeah. There is a little donation thing

00:36:47.380 --> 00:36:49.599
if they want to pay two bucks. They could donate

00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:51.739
us and kind of, they could, they could do a little

00:36:51.739 --> 00:36:54.239
$2 donation. Yeah. And then I, and then they

00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:55.900
could, they could actually give us an episode

00:36:55.900 --> 00:36:58.920
idea. Yeah. And I will care very much about whether

00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:02.179
you like that one. Yes. So go to shanonightshow

00:37:02.179 --> 00:37:05.039
.com. You could also sign up for our email list

00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:07.219
there. And when these episodes drop, you'll be

00:37:07.219 --> 00:37:09.440
the first one to get them. The very first one.

00:37:10.239 --> 00:37:12.219
Also, a little donation thing will come up if

00:37:12.219 --> 00:37:15.820
you donate two bucks. We're calling two bucks.

00:37:15.820 --> 00:37:18.500
You could donate two bucks and in the little

00:37:18.500 --> 00:37:20.440
thing It'll tell you it'll get have a description

00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:22.360
just put a little description of what you want

00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:25.539
us to talk about Yeah within reason within reason.

00:37:25.739 --> 00:37:30.219
I am NOT dropping n -bombs on We're not doing

00:37:30.219 --> 00:37:33.199
political chats. Yeah, we're staying clear of

00:37:33.199 --> 00:37:35.679
that but anyway, if you've listened all the way

00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:38.780
through we appreciate you and Until next time

00:37:38.780 --> 00:37:41.420
America. Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick