Why Are We Talking about A Goat ?

WEBVTT

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Hey, welcome to The Shane and I Show. My name

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is Shane. My name is Max and I wear slacks. You

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wear slacks? Slacks. Is that the only thing you

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figure out that rhymes with Max? Yeah, I didn't

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really have anything prepared there. You could

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say the dog's on the couch. Dog is on the couch.

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And hey, it's the podcast about nothing. That

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makes you think of something. And this is two

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episodes for November. We are. Do you have any

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sponsors for us? No, I just, you know what? We

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get automatic ads now, so. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

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Well, I got a quick sponsor spot. Oh yeah? Yeah.

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This episode is sponsored by Hengiston Horsa.

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Yeah. Do you need a band of thugs to get shit

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done? Get Hengiston Horsa. What is Hengiston

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Horsa? They're, they're a couple of thug brothers

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who had a band of thugs who could get shit done.

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So it was a band like a plethora? Yeah. Like

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in the Three Amigos? Just a group of guys with

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seaxes who would storm the beach and then march

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into the village and get shit handled. Get shit

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handled. Yeah. Hey, yeah, if you could find them

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on Facebook, you know, reach out to them. Yeah.

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If you need shit handled. Yeah, if you need shit

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handled, call Hingistan Horsa. Just don't be

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surprised if they stick around after the job's

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done. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they stick around pillage

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your place. Yeah Yeah, man, what's going on?

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Oh, you're not chilling Thanksgiving's coming

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up Thanksgiving's coming up Christmas is after

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that. Yeah. Yeah, we had a holiday season. Yeah,

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we had a vice president die Yeah, yeah, go dick

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Cheney. Yeah, he's gone. Yeah I was wondering

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why I didn't even notice the flags were at half

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mass until today. Yeah, I did. And they just

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stayed at half mass for a while. So I was like,

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something happened, right? Somebody big must

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have tried. Dick Cheney. Yeah, there you go.

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Yeah, man. I was thinking about Thanksgiving.

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Like, I know a lot of people don't do traditional

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Thanksgiving. What are some of the best untraditional

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Thanksgiving's you've ever done? Uh, so first

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off, I'm going to say tradition is like each

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family has its own tradition. Right. So with

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my family, we, we got Thanksgiving with, uh,

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a family, uh, of, of like, of, of people with

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Chinese heritage. So at Thanksgiving, there was

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always sticky rice and dim sum. Nice. Fucking

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great, man. Yeah, my family, we did that for

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a long time. We went out for Thanksgiving for

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Chinese food. Just got over the whole turkey

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thing for a while. Yeah, we had, we had turkeys

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too, but there was always sticky rice. I remember

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for a while we didn't do, and for a long time

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I didn't do really actually Thanksgiving until

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last year. Yeah. Last year I actually cooked

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Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, for a long time I

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also was skipping Thanksgiving. Yeah. And last

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couple of years, my wife and I have been doing

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it again with the parents and all that. Yeah,

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I actually cooked a turkey last year. You cooked

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a turkey? I cooked a turkey last year. I almost

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bought a turkey the other day to cook as an experiment

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because I've never cooked a turkey before. It's

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not that hard. You just got to remember to pick

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out the guts. I guess that's important. Yeah.

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You got to remember to take out the guts. I mean,

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it wasn't that hard. It just took a long time.

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But I remember I followed a recipe I found on

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Google and it turned out fine. Great. Yeah. If

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you follow the recipe. Yeah, you know, try to

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do your interpretation of the recipe. Something

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that I think might be fun sometime is to take

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a turkey, you know, take out the guts and then

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get a Cornish game hen. And stick the Cornish

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game hen in there. A lot of people do that. It's

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supposed to be really good. Yeah. And so it's

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a turhennennen. I don't know what you would call

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that, but I call it a pregnant turkey. That's

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what I would call it. Yeah. It's a pregnant turkey.

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It's delicious. I've had it before. It's delicious.

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And then there's turducken. I'm not a big fan

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of duck, but I bet I would eat a turducken. Yeah,

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I'm not a big fan of duck either. Yeah. I'm not

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a big fan of duck. If it's done just right, it's

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good. So I think I'm cooking this year too. Yeah.

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I had a Peking duck recently. It was fucking

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delicious. I bet it was. It really was. Yeah,

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it's one of those things, Thanksgiving is one

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of those things where I can be like, hey, take

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it or leave it. I'm not kind of, I'm not like,

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I'm not like big on tradition with it. Yeah,

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me too. Like I like football on Thursdays. I

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like watching movies on Thanksgiving. You know

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what I mean? That's kind of my deal. Yeah. So,

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and now there's like five games on, on Thanksgiving.

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Like I'm set. Yeah. But yeah, it's always, the

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holidays are always kind of a weird time. Cause

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you gotta, you gotta be around people you don't

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necessarily. Like get along with mm -hmm, and

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you start having parties and it's easy to be

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socially awkward. Oh, yeah. Yeah Well, I've I

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know I've said my trick for this before but I'll

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say it again If you help like clear the table

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and do the dishes. Yeah. Yeah, it really helps

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out You don't got to be and let somebody else

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be the weird person that like makes a scene Yeah,

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and also like like while you're busy Like you

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feel less pressure to perform socially so you

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can actually have a better conversation with

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somebody and that way somebody else Picks the

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drama from you. Yeah and makes it all about them

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because there's always somebody that's got to

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make the drama about them It does. And then you

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could just be there doing the dishes like, I

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mean, the weather's nice, but I don't know what's

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going on with Henry over here. Yeah. Henry's

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acting like a fool. Maybe he had too much, you

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know, champagne or whatever. Yeah. People drink

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at Thanksgiving. What alcoholic drinks do people

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have at Thanksgiving? Beer. Beer? Beer's big.

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Beer's a big one? Yeah. But I think people drink

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anything with liquor. Yeah. Yeah. Guys that are

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really into beer are weird. I've noticed that.

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I used to be really into beer. Not like a beer

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connoisseur, but I just drank a whole lot of

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beer. Yeah, I did too. It didn't matter what

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it was. I mean, I'm talking to guys that are

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like into IPAs and tell you about the hops and

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shit like that. Yeah, yeah. It's a little weird.

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It is. I also used to be into craft beers, but

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only like, oh, this one tastes nice. I like this

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one. And I would leave it at that. Yeah. I didn't

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know shit about hops. I mean, a good beer to

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me was something above Still Reserve. Like Still

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Reserve was like a taller 25. So like, to me,

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a Heineken was a good beer. Yeah, man. If it's

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better than Keystone Light, it's, you know, or

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PBR, it's quality. So I don't know nothing about,

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I remember people tried to educate me on beer

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at one point. And I was, they're like, you know,

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you swore, I'm like, what's the point of this?

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What's the point? Yeah, and they hears it you

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they were drinking it for the taste and you were

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drinking it for the drug I was drinking it for

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the effect. Yeah, I like the effect produced

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by alcohol Yeah, there you go to a point that

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it endangers me and the dangerous people around

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me you and me both buddy But yeah, man, I remember

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cuz I still know people They are like that. All

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they post about is, oh, I tried this beer today.

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I'd give it a 10 out of 10, and the hops were

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nice. One of my parents' neighbors is like that,

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but with whiskey. Right. Whiskey, I get. So he

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gets all these really fancy whiskies. Yeah, I

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get whiskey, though. I get being like that with

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whiskey just because it's like, ugh. Look, I

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get that too, but here's the thing. If you're

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really into whiskies, you're taking these tiny

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little baby sips. You're not taking a shot of...

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of $500 a bottle of whiskey. Yeah, there's no

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point in that. Yeah. Just get a bottle of Jack.

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You'll be fine. A nice beer, you can still enjoy

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it even if you're really drinking. But whiskey,

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I mean, you could gulp down $80 worth of whiskey

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in about three seconds. And somebody asks you,

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and somebody's like, oh, so what do you think

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of that? And I'm like... More please? I don't

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know. Yeah, that's the answer to more please.

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Yeah, it's just, you know, it's just weird. And

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the only reason I bring it up is because a friend

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of mine was talking about it. About his beer

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collection. And I'm like, so like, what do you

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mean beer collection? And he was like, you know,

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I have beers that I taste throughout the year.

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And I'm like, wait. Like I had to sit there and

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I was like it didn't compute with me like you

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say you say booze. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and

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he's like, yeah, and I'm like Let's go back to

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that real quick. Yeah, like you don't drink all

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the booze at one shot. No, no most people don't

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Know yeah, I know Right. It's still it still

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boggles my mind that I'm like, did you know how

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much? like he's like dude, I spent a lot of money

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on this and I'm like Again, yeah, why why you

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could get a you could get a 30 rack for 15 bucks.

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I mean nowadays with inflation It's like 20 but

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still yeah, I mean It's just weird to me and

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he was explaining how he rates all of his beers

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and all this other I'm like that dude that that

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seems to take up a lot of time Yeah, but that

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that's that's their hobby. That's their that's

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their they're they're not they're not drinking

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it for though He's not like, you know, he's definitely

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not like me. Just it just boggles my mind that

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there's people It's like the people that you

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go out with when you go out to eat, or whatever,

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and they get a wine that matches their dinner.

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Like, that one always still, that still boggles

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my mind. You see, I get that one, but it's because,

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like, now that I don't drink, and I haven't,

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I just realized I've been almost a non -drinker

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for almost half my life. Right. For me, it's

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been a little over half my life. So now that

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I don't drink, I realize that a lot of times

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when I order food and I order a beverage, like

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what kind of soda I get or what juice I get depends

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on the food. And I think it's the same with wine.

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I've never been like that. I don't know. It's

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always, I've always found it with like when I

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go on dates and stuff and women do it, I'm always

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just like, how do you know? Like, how do you

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know like that's the wine to get with? That fish.

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White wine goes with fish. Yeah. That's what

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they always say, right? Yeah. Or like red wine

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goes with red meat. Yeah. And I'm just saying,

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and then to top it off, you're only going to

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drink half the glass. Yeah, that part's wild.

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You're only going to drink, it's a $20 glass

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of wine. Yeah, especially what a glass of wine

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costs in a restaurant. And you're only drinking

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half a glass. Yeah. To each their own. To each

00:11:34.980 --> 00:11:39.809
their own, yeah. I have to sing. There's this

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beginning of a song that I always sing when I'm

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on a walk with my dog. I don't know why I sing

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it for her. I have no idea. It's just a song

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I heard when I was in summer camp. Right. And

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it was called Bill Grogan's Goat. All right.

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And I just remember the opening lines to it,

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right? Bill Grogan's Goat was feeling fine, ate

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three red shirts right off the line. It's the

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only lines I repeat to my dog on our walk. So

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far, good start. Right. So I was curious, because

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this is a song when I was in summer camp as a

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kid. And I went to a lot of summer camps as a

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kid. And like, pretty much every summer camp

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I went to, they would sing this song at a campfire.

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Bill Grungren's Goat. I went to summer camp,

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and I don't, I never heard this song before.

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Did you go to a YMCA summer camp, though? No.

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See, I went to a YMCA summer camp. It must be

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a YMCA thing. Very Christian summer camp. I was

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not Christian, but it was a very Christian -themed

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summer camp. Yeah. Because they were a lot of

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fun. Yeah, right. You went water skiing. You

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did all kinds of cool shit. You went water skiing?

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That's fucking cool, man. Yeah. There was one

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point where my parents sent me to a camp in Colorado.

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I remember one time they sent me to this camp

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in Colorado. Best time I ever had in my life

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as a kid. Anyway, back to my story. I went to

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a lot of summer camps. and they would always

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sing the song, and I was curious because I can't

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remember the rest of the lyrics, right? I'm like,

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I don't remember what the rest of the fucking

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lyrics, but I remember a lot of the kids' songs

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from when I was a kid in my generation. They

00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:09.720
were always dark. Yeah, kids' songs really can

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be. So here are the lyrics for you and our podcast

00:13:13.940 --> 00:13:19.179
listeners to Bill Grogan's Goat, okay? Bill Grogan's

00:13:19.179 --> 00:13:22.299
Goat was feeling fine, ate three red shirts right

00:13:22.299 --> 00:13:24.889
off of the line. So far, so good. Damn that goat.

00:13:25.629 --> 00:13:30.649
Yeah. Bill took a stick, gave him three whacks,

00:13:30.990 --> 00:13:33.629
and tied him to the railroad tracks. Animal cruelty?

00:13:33.929 --> 00:13:38.710
Yep. All right. The whistle blew, the train drew

00:13:38.710 --> 00:13:43.830
nigh. Nigh? Nigh. Nigh. Yeah. Bill Grogan's goat

00:13:43.830 --> 00:13:47.549
was doomed to die. All right. Yeah. Dark. He

00:13:47.549 --> 00:13:51.100
gave three bones of mortal pain. coughed up the

00:13:51.100 --> 00:13:55.659
shirts and flagged the train. One shirt got stuck

00:13:55.659 --> 00:13:58.860
right on his throat. That was the end of Bill

00:13:58.860 --> 00:14:02.179
Grogan's goat. All right. So I guess the moral

00:14:02.179 --> 00:14:06.299
of the story is actually a question. Would you

00:14:06.299 --> 00:14:09.200
rather choke to death on a shirt or be flattened

00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:12.700
by a train? Right. And first of all, why would

00:14:12.700 --> 00:14:16.820
a goat eat three red shirts? Why not? I don't

00:14:16.820 --> 00:14:18.679
think goats can see color. I don't think they

00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:20.759
can. But I don't think a goat would eat a shirt.

00:14:21.100 --> 00:14:22.559
Oh yeah, a goat would eat a shirt. You think

00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:25.340
so? Yeah. I know they like grass or whatever.

00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:26.960
You've never been to a petting zoo and a goat

00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:31.200
tries to eat your shirt? Yeah. Yeah. But it was

00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:32.940
Bill Grogan. It was his goat. Why is he gonna

00:14:32.940 --> 00:14:35.639
kill his own goat? Because Bill Grogan's a motherfucker.

00:14:36.500 --> 00:14:39.100
First, he beat his own goat. Yeah. And then not

00:14:39.100 --> 00:14:40.700
only did he kill it. Gave him three whacks. Yeah,

00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:42.960
not only did he kill it, he tied it to the railroad

00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:45.159
tracks after beating it half to death. Yeah.

00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:47.460
So that it could see its impending doom coming.

00:14:47.580 --> 00:14:50.059
And here's the caper of this thing. He got his

00:14:50.059 --> 00:14:52.539
shirts back. He got his shirts back. So do you

00:14:52.539 --> 00:14:55.899
think he washed them again and hung them out

00:14:55.899 --> 00:14:58.820
to dry again? That's what I would do. I wonder

00:14:58.820 --> 00:15:01.480
if Bill Grogan's family came, the goat's family

00:15:01.480 --> 00:15:03.870
came and took them back. That'd be part two of

00:15:03.870 --> 00:15:06.610
that song. But it just reminded me of how my

00:15:06.610 --> 00:15:09.809
generation... Like, we had songs like that as

00:15:09.809 --> 00:15:12.450
kids, right? Yeah. It truly means... It's truly,

00:15:12.570 --> 00:15:14.529
like, we were brought up, like, not to give a

00:15:14.529 --> 00:15:17.409
fuck. Yeah. Like, we were brought up, like...

00:15:17.409 --> 00:15:18.690
Like, being desensitized to some horrible shit.

00:15:18.730 --> 00:15:21.929
Yeah, being desensitized to, like, triggers and

00:15:21.929 --> 00:15:24.269
warnings and shit like that. Like, Generation

00:15:24.269 --> 00:15:27.570
X, we're like, fuck, we grew up on weird ass

00:15:27.570 --> 00:15:29.629
kids songs. Yeah, and like... Like Ring Around

00:15:29.629 --> 00:15:31.950
the Rosie, which everybody sang growing up, is

00:15:31.950 --> 00:15:35.649
a dark song about collecting and burning plague

00:15:35.649 --> 00:15:39.269
victims. Yeah. So I get that. But here's the

00:15:39.269 --> 00:15:43.669
thing. The lyrics are oblique enough that when

00:15:43.669 --> 00:15:46.450
you're a kid, it just sounds like fun nonsense.

00:15:46.470 --> 00:15:48.649
Yeah. You used to sing it in a circle, like as

00:15:48.649 --> 00:15:51.809
a kid. Yeah. And you'd all fall down. Yeah. But

00:15:51.809 --> 00:15:55.169
this Bill Grogan's goat thing, that is a story

00:15:55.169 --> 00:15:57.750
with a beginning, middle, and end. Yeah. And

00:15:57.750 --> 00:16:01.669
it is fucking... Dark and bad? Yeah, and we sing

00:16:01.669 --> 00:16:05.029
that shit happily. God damn. Yeah, like, everybody

00:16:05.029 --> 00:16:07.269
shouted it. Your generation's fucked up, man.

00:16:07.330 --> 00:16:09.529
Yeah, that's why, you know, people... You know

00:16:09.529 --> 00:16:11.549
who's really fucked up, though? The people who

00:16:11.549 --> 00:16:14.710
goddamn raised you. Right? Yeah, they were like,

00:16:14.830 --> 00:16:16.990
okay, come home with the lights, come on. Yeah.

00:16:17.450 --> 00:16:19.590
It's like the kind of song Hengist and Horsa

00:16:19.590 --> 00:16:21.970
would sing to their children. Yeah, I bet it

00:16:21.970 --> 00:16:26.220
would. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were like, oh,

00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:28.399
mom will be home from work at four. Just don't

00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:31.000
cause any trouble. Yeah. You're on your own.

00:16:31.559 --> 00:16:34.039
I liked being a latchkey kid. I did too. That

00:16:34.039 --> 00:16:39.360
was nice. The home was your castle from 3 .30

00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:42.289
to six or whatever. So, like, a lot of times

00:16:42.289 --> 00:16:44.250
nowadays when people are like, oh, doesn't that

00:16:44.250 --> 00:16:46.210
trigger you? Doesn't this trigger you? And it's

00:16:46.210 --> 00:16:49.070
like, nothing triggers me. Like, I'm generation.

00:16:49.169 --> 00:16:51.210
Like, we don't get triggered. Gen X does not

00:16:51.210 --> 00:16:53.750
get triggered. And when Gen X does get triggered,

00:16:53.889 --> 00:16:57.429
you know what they do? They just shrug and walk

00:16:57.429 --> 00:16:58.970
away. That's it. Yeah, we're like, yeah, whatever.

00:16:59.769 --> 00:17:02.309
Whatever. I'm going to do something else. Yeah.

00:17:03.690 --> 00:17:05.430
Yeah, it's just really weird when I think about

00:17:05.430 --> 00:17:07.710
it, like all these people talking about triggers.

00:17:07.849 --> 00:17:10.950
The one that gets me is anxiety. Is what like

00:17:10.950 --> 00:17:13.369
nowadays because we I just had this happen to

00:17:13.369 --> 00:17:16.089
me like last week Yeah, somebody called in on

00:17:16.089 --> 00:17:19.190
a ship because they're anxiety dude Don't get

00:17:19.190 --> 00:17:21.730
me started. I'm gonna go on a tangent. Go for

00:17:21.730 --> 00:17:24.069
it. Go for it Somebody called into work because

00:17:24.069 --> 00:17:29.029
their anxiety was acting at Yeah, I go with anxiety

00:17:29.029 --> 00:17:31.289
every day you just shove that shit down and you

00:17:31.289 --> 00:17:34.490
go on about your day Here's here's the thing

00:17:34.490 --> 00:17:38.470
with that acute anxiety. Right can be debilitating

00:17:38.569 --> 00:17:42.690
Right. But I think a lot of people nowadays just

00:17:42.690 --> 00:17:45.829
use it as an excuse. Yeah. For me, when I experience

00:17:45.829 --> 00:17:48.890
anxiety, if I need to, I can shove it down and

00:17:48.890 --> 00:17:50.910
I'm going to deal with these feelings later and

00:17:50.910 --> 00:17:52.589
right now I'm just not going to feel. I can do

00:17:52.589 --> 00:17:59.190
that. But one time I had a doctor giving me steroids

00:17:59.190 --> 00:18:03.470
and when I was taking the steroids, I decided

00:18:03.470 --> 00:18:07.220
to commit murder. Damn. And I thought, instead

00:18:07.220 --> 00:18:08.579
of committing murder, I think I'm just gonna

00:18:08.579 --> 00:18:10.980
stop taking the steroids, because it seemed like

00:18:10.980 --> 00:18:13.579
that. That's a better idea. Yeah, because nothing

00:18:13.579 --> 00:18:16.920
had changed in my life, but I decided to, like,

00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:19.420
I, like, coolly made the decision, like, I'm

00:18:19.420 --> 00:18:21.079
gonna murder this guy if he says this thing that

00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:25.319
he always says to me. And I was just, I was okay

00:18:25.319 --> 00:18:27.059
with that. And then I was like, you know, the

00:18:27.059 --> 00:18:29.319
only thing that's changed this week is I've been

00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:32.099
taking steroids. So I stopped taking the steroids.

00:18:32.990 --> 00:18:36.109
But here's the thing, the next day, I had fucking,

00:18:36.450 --> 00:18:40.990
I shit you not, debilitating anxiety all day.

00:18:41.549 --> 00:18:43.569
I get it, it's like debilitating, I'm just talking

00:18:43.569 --> 00:18:47.410
about like how people use it as like, the stars

00:18:47.410 --> 00:18:49.569
aren't aligned and my anxiety's giving me, I

00:18:49.569 --> 00:18:52.069
can't, my anxiety's telling me not to leave because

00:18:52.069 --> 00:18:53.849
the stars, that kind of shit, you know what I

00:18:53.849 --> 00:18:56.950
mean? Oh yeah, I get that. Like people just use

00:18:56.950 --> 00:19:01.690
it as a way to like not go to work, like, I don't

00:19:01.690 --> 00:19:03.779
know, like. I believe a lot of people know how

00:19:03.779 --> 00:19:06.059
to like go out. I know people that could go out

00:19:06.059 --> 00:19:08.259
and they could throw, they could go and party

00:19:08.259 --> 00:19:10.160
all night, go to the club until two o 'clock

00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:13.599
in the morning and show up to work at six. Yeah.

00:19:14.279 --> 00:19:17.140
There are a lot of those people out there, uh,

00:19:17.140 --> 00:19:18.700
less than there used to be. Yeah. That's what

00:19:18.700 --> 00:19:22.319
I mean. Yeah. Now people just call in when there's

00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:25.400
anxiety, when they have anxiety issues. It's

00:19:25.400 --> 00:19:27.539
just weird to me. Like I just, it's just weird.

00:19:27.740 --> 00:19:30.140
You are a Gen Xer. I am a Gen Xer. That's for

00:19:30.140 --> 00:19:33.740
sure. That is a very Gen X thing to gripe about.

00:19:33.960 --> 00:19:36.240
It is, right? Like, ugh, people have feelings?

00:19:36.460 --> 00:19:39.119
Fuck that. People have feelings? What the hell

00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:41.019
is that? What the hell is that? I don't give

00:19:41.019 --> 00:19:43.000
a shit about people's feelings. I don't care.

00:19:43.019 --> 00:19:44.640
Fucking show up and do your job. And then every

00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:47.220
once in a while, you get this soft spot in you

00:19:47.220 --> 00:19:49.019
where your heart just opens up a little bit,

00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:52.279
and you're like, oh, man, that sucks. Yeah. I

00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:54.980
feel bad for you. Yeah. And then you got to shove

00:19:54.980 --> 00:19:57.660
that shit down. You're just like, no, we're not

00:19:57.660 --> 00:20:00.000
going to, we're not going to give them the satisfaction.

00:20:00.440 --> 00:20:03.519
If I, if I open the flood gates anymore, I don't

00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:05.460
know what's going to happen. Let's shut this

00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:08.299
shit down. I might give somebody a fucking hug.

00:20:09.619 --> 00:20:12.519
I might shed a tear in public that is not happening.

00:20:12.839 --> 00:20:16.279
That's not happening. Generation X, man, we wear

00:20:16.279 --> 00:20:20.359
all black all the time. All black, all the time.

00:20:21.460 --> 00:20:25.619
Metallica t -shirts. Yeah. We were Satanists

00:20:25.619 --> 00:20:29.279
back in the 80s. Yeah, for fun. For fun, the

00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:32.759
Satanic plague. We pretend to be Satanists not

00:20:32.759 --> 00:20:35.160
because we believed in Satan, but because we

00:20:35.160 --> 00:20:37.819
knew it freaked out our parents. Yeah, exactly.

00:20:39.339 --> 00:20:43.359
Exactly. Everybody wore black. Yeah. When I was

00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:46.740
15, I had the same Guns N' Roses t -shirt from

00:20:46.740 --> 00:20:48.539
like Appetite for Destruction. I don't know where

00:20:48.539 --> 00:20:51.990
I fucking got it. I wore that thing every day

00:20:51.990 --> 00:20:55.650
for like a year. Dude, when I was 15, I had a

00:20:55.650 --> 00:20:57.670
Guns N' Roses Appetite for Destruction t -shirt.

00:20:57.890 --> 00:21:00.569
I loved that fucking shirt. I wore that t -shirt

00:21:00.569 --> 00:21:02.990
and a pair of black jeans every day for like

00:21:02.990 --> 00:21:06.130
a year. Did you wash them? I washed them, of

00:21:06.130 --> 00:21:07.910
course. So like once a week, you'd have a naked

00:21:07.910 --> 00:21:10.769
day while they were in the wash? Yeah, or I wore

00:21:10.769 --> 00:21:13.049
something else. Maybe I threw on a Metallica

00:21:13.049 --> 00:21:15.970
t -shirt or like a Motley Crue t -shirt. That

00:21:15.970 --> 00:21:19.630
was the thing back then, though. That's how you

00:21:19.630 --> 00:21:21.630
dress, you know what I mean? Or you dress another

00:21:21.630 --> 00:21:26.430
way, but... Yeah, you just didn't talk about

00:21:26.430 --> 00:21:29.349
shit, though. Like, nobody talked about nothing.

00:21:29.769 --> 00:21:32.369
No, no. Nothing real. Yeah, we didn't talk about

00:21:32.369 --> 00:21:35.789
our feelings. How do you feel about your parents

00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:39.589
getting their fourth divorce? I don't know. Oh,

00:21:39.609 --> 00:21:42.269
how do I feel about that? How do you feel about

00:21:42.269 --> 00:21:45.930
getting punched in the nose? Exactly. And trust

00:21:45.930 --> 00:21:48.230
me, there's a lot of times where you knew people.

00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:50.799
Mm -hmm that had parents getting like their third

00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:53.359
or fourth divorce. Oh, yeah, like they their

00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:56.720
parents got divorced once got back together again

00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:00.180
Got divorced again. Yeah, I I was friends with

00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:03.579
the kid whose parents had like Three different

00:22:03.579 --> 00:22:06.759
like separate. Yeah relationships with two divorces

00:22:06.759 --> 00:22:09.680
separating them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and you're

00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:13.099
just saying hey, whatever Doesn't bother me.

00:22:13.180 --> 00:22:16.480
Yeah The other thing I realized this week, too

00:22:16.809 --> 00:22:19.089
Because I was watching I've been watching a lot

00:22:19.089 --> 00:22:23.109
of cops at old cops episodes. Goddamn Bad boys

00:22:23.109 --> 00:22:25.890
bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do?

00:22:26.109 --> 00:22:28.569
And I used to think the best cops cop episodes

00:22:28.569 --> 00:22:31.250
were the ones in Florida, right? Mm -hmm Kind

00:22:31.250 --> 00:22:33.369
of like how everybody thinks like the best cop

00:22:33.369 --> 00:22:36.049
episodes are always in Florida. I mean if there's

00:22:36.049 --> 00:22:40.349
an alligator Yeah, yeah It's not the case dude.

00:22:40.349 --> 00:22:43.710
No, the ones that I found to be so entertaining

00:22:44.220 --> 00:22:47.359
to be the best ones ever are like the ones in

00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:51.599
like Lubbock, Texas. Oh yeah. Like just nowhere

00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:54.140
Texas. Like I don't think Lubbock is like a nowhere

00:22:54.140 --> 00:22:56.819
place in Texas, but. You better not. They will

00:22:56.819 --> 00:22:58.980
shoot you. Yeah. I mean, it's a pretty big city,

00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:02.579
but I'm talking like Midland, Texas or what are

00:23:02.579 --> 00:23:05.680
cops in Midland, Texas. It was just like I was

00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:07.960
watching these episodes in Texas, right? And

00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:10.400
there's some crazy people. Like, they're getting

00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:13.259
arrested. They got no shirt on. And the cops

00:23:13.259 --> 00:23:15.160
are like, yeah, we know you did. We caught you

00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:17.400
red -handed. And the guy's like, no, you didn't.

00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:20.319
Yeah. That's always my favorite part. Yeah. Like,

00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:24.160
they get caught. And they got red -handed. And

00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:27.160
the guy's like, no, no. We saw you punch that

00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:33.250
guy and run and then rob the bank. Yeah. and

00:23:33.250 --> 00:23:35.269
you have the money in your back pocket and the

00:23:35.269 --> 00:23:36.890
guy's like, I don't know what you're talking

00:23:36.890 --> 00:23:39.230
about, man. I was just going to the corner store.

00:23:39.369 --> 00:23:42.630
Yeah. You want to know the crazy thing about

00:23:42.630 --> 00:23:47.829
cops though? What? So. So cops, what they would

00:23:47.829 --> 00:23:50.289
do is they would pay a police department to be

00:23:50.289 --> 00:23:52.730
like, hey, let us shadow, you know, one of your

00:23:52.730 --> 00:23:56.369
officers on patrol. Yeah. And a lot of the police

00:23:56.369 --> 00:23:58.509
departments like really needed that money. Yeah.

00:23:58.529 --> 00:24:00.450
And they would tell the officers they were shadowing,

00:24:00.529 --> 00:24:03.990
like, listen. You guys gotta fucking give us

00:24:03.990 --> 00:24:07.069
some something for TV. Yeah, I don't care if

00:24:07.069 --> 00:24:08.910
you got a plant evidence I don't care if you

00:24:08.910 --> 00:24:11.390
got to provoke people you gotta give us something

00:24:11.390 --> 00:24:14.609
fruit. I don't care if you just yell and claim

00:24:14.609 --> 00:24:17.470
you saw a crime committed off camera. Even if

00:24:17.470 --> 00:24:20.970
nothing happens, you got it. Right. Uh, and,

00:24:21.130 --> 00:24:23.630
and, and, and sometimes the officers would be

00:24:23.630 --> 00:24:25.809
like, no, I'm not going to do that. I protect

00:24:25.809 --> 00:24:28.789
and serve. Right. And then the police department

00:24:28.789 --> 00:24:30.930
was like, no, you don't understand guys. We're

00:24:30.930 --> 00:24:33.710
broke. We need this. Yeah. So we need who's the

00:24:33.710 --> 00:24:37.230
crookedest one of you. All right. Follow that

00:24:37.230 --> 00:24:41.869
guy. Yeah. Um, yeah, they actually did the cops

00:24:41.869 --> 00:24:44.930
in Santa Rosa. Yeah, they did it in San Rafael,

00:24:45.130 --> 00:24:46.950
too. Did they? Yeah. I didn't know about San

00:24:46.950 --> 00:24:49.710
Rafael. I know they did Santa Rosa. I actually

00:24:49.710 --> 00:24:51.769
watched an episode in Santa Rosa. I'm like, oh,

00:24:51.849 --> 00:24:54.049
yeah, that town looks familiar. Yeah, they've

00:24:54.049 --> 00:24:57.069
done cops everywhere. Yeah. Telling you the best

00:24:57.069 --> 00:25:00.049
ones are in like, Oklahoma, too. Oklahoma's another

00:25:00.049 --> 00:25:01.450
good place. Oh, Oklahoma is always a good one,

00:25:01.869 --> 00:25:04.130
yeah. Yeah, because there's like, I remember

00:25:04.130 --> 00:25:06.069
I was watching one, this guy standing in his

00:25:06.069 --> 00:25:08.170
garage, just standing in his garage with no shirt

00:25:08.170 --> 00:25:11.210
on. Yeah. middle thunderstorm coming down or

00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:13.730
whatever, just standing in his garage with the

00:25:13.730 --> 00:25:15.849
door open. Yeah. They always got no shirt on

00:25:15.849 --> 00:25:17.589
for some reason. Dude, that's how you know it's

00:25:17.589 --> 00:25:19.369
going to be a good episode when there's no shirt.

00:25:19.450 --> 00:25:22.309
Yeah. Like if it starts with a guy with no shirt,

00:25:22.329 --> 00:25:25.750
you're like in. Yeah. And it's like, and they

00:25:25.750 --> 00:25:27.529
got him for some kind of warrant or something.

00:25:28.269 --> 00:25:29.950
And they were like, oh, we're going to just go

00:25:29.950 --> 00:25:31.930
serve this guy. We got to go take this guy in

00:25:31.930 --> 00:25:34.289
because he has a warrant. And he didn't show

00:25:34.289 --> 00:25:36.390
up for court. Yeah. That's a warrant in quotes,

00:25:36.589 --> 00:25:39.859
by the way. And so they go. into his house and

00:25:39.859 --> 00:25:41.500
they're like, hey, you didn't show up for court

00:25:41.500 --> 00:25:44.619
today. And this guy's like, I didn't have no

00:25:44.619 --> 00:25:47.200
court today. I don't have court for another month.

00:25:48.180 --> 00:25:50.259
And the cop's like, no, we have it right here.

00:25:50.420 --> 00:25:53.180
It's for today. He's like, no, it's for the next

00:25:53.180 --> 00:25:57.359
month. And then it just gets bonkers after that.

00:25:57.460 --> 00:26:00.519
The guy runs through his garage, runs through

00:26:00.519 --> 00:26:04.960
his house, jumps a fence. runs through another

00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:07.480
neighbor's house, trips another fence, and winds

00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:11.180
up in like a lagoon. Yeah. And they finally chase

00:26:11.180 --> 00:26:13.559
him down in the lagoon, and they get him when

00:26:13.559 --> 00:26:16.220
he's like waist -deep in water. Yeah. And then

00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:17.759
even though they're in Oklahoma, there's still

00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:22.680
an alligator. Still an alligator. And the guy's

00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:24.599
like, the guy's like, they finally, the guy's

00:26:24.599 --> 00:26:26.079
like, okay, you're a big getting arrested now

00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:28.619
for not going to court and evading the police.

00:26:28.900 --> 00:26:31.460
And the guy's like, I didn't evade you. I was

00:26:31.460 --> 00:26:33.839
just trying to go, I was just trying to go pick

00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:37.779
something up from my neighbor. It's always funny

00:26:37.779 --> 00:26:39.920
to me, like when people get caught doing something,

00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:42.319
how they just, I used to do it too. When I got

00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:45.089
caught doing something. I would just be like,

00:26:45.089 --> 00:26:48.130
I don't know what you're talking about. I...

00:26:48.130 --> 00:26:52.410
Was it me? Yeah. I've never been caught committing

00:26:52.410 --> 00:26:55.750
a crime. The closest thing that's happened to

00:26:55.750 --> 00:26:57.950
me, you're going to learn some troubling shit

00:26:57.950 --> 00:27:00.390
about it. Closest thing that's happened to me

00:27:00.390 --> 00:27:02.490
is I got pulled over for having a headlight out.

00:27:02.490 --> 00:27:09.289
Right. Yeah. I'm disturbed now. And I told the

00:27:09.289 --> 00:27:11.450
officer, oh yeah, I know, I was going to fix

00:27:11.450 --> 00:27:15.019
it, but it's raining, you know? and he said,

00:27:15.019 --> 00:27:21.880
it just started raining. I looked at him and

00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:25.319
I was like, I'm not going to lie, you got me.

00:27:26.019 --> 00:27:28.140
I've been driving around without a headlight.

00:27:28.460 --> 00:27:33.950
For months. But for a while. And I was fucking

00:27:33.950 --> 00:27:35.990
delivering Chinese food without a headlight.

00:27:36.210 --> 00:27:38.650
I just had that happen to me, like, a couple

00:27:38.650 --> 00:27:40.269
months ago when I was coming home from work.

00:27:40.269 --> 00:27:43.470
Yeah, dude. At night, I had my high beams on

00:27:43.470 --> 00:27:45.930
because I knew my light was out. Yeah. And I

00:27:45.930 --> 00:27:48.170
met, like, honestly. Like, I was like, OK, I'm

00:27:48.170 --> 00:27:50.240
going to get it fixed tomorrow. Mm -hmm. because

00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:52.200
replacing a headlight ain't that difficult. No,

00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:53.940
it's so easy. And I was like, okay, I'll get

00:27:53.940 --> 00:27:55.279
it fixed tomorrow. I know it's out, but it's

00:27:55.279 --> 00:27:56.900
like really foggy out. So I had the headlights

00:27:56.900 --> 00:27:59.039
off. I came off the highway. I forgot to turn

00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:01.980
them off. Yeah. And there was a DUI checkpoint

00:28:01.980 --> 00:28:05.579
down like on the expressway going to my house.

00:28:06.740 --> 00:28:11.059
So I pull over. I make a right turn because I'm

00:28:11.059 --> 00:28:12.579
like, I don't really want to go through the checkpoint.

00:28:12.599 --> 00:28:14.660
So I make a right turn. I didn't realize I had

00:28:14.660 --> 00:28:18.799
the headlights still on on bright. Yeah. And

00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:21.269
I get pulled over. And he's like, oh, why were

00:28:21.269 --> 00:28:23.430
you making a sudden turn like that? And I was

00:28:23.430 --> 00:28:25.569
like, I don't want to go through no checkpoint

00:28:25.569 --> 00:28:27.650
when I don't need to. My house is over this way.

00:28:28.589 --> 00:28:30.069
He's like, okay, but you had your headlights

00:28:30.069 --> 00:28:32.549
on. And I was like, yeah, I was just coming off

00:28:32.549 --> 00:28:35.049
the freeway. I was honest with him. I didn't

00:28:35.049 --> 00:28:36.769
hold back. I was like, look, I was on the freeway.

00:28:36.769 --> 00:28:39.329
It was really foggy. And I didn't turn them off

00:28:39.329 --> 00:28:41.210
before I got off the freeway. Totally my fault.

00:28:41.230 --> 00:28:43.490
I was just getting off a long shift from work.

00:28:43.970 --> 00:28:45.190
He's like, oh, how long did you work? I'm like,

00:28:45.269 --> 00:28:47.130
I just worked 13 hours. I told him what I did

00:28:47.130 --> 00:28:50.000
for work. And I was for sure, I'm like, I'm gonna

00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:52.160
get a ticket for this. I'm for sure. He takes

00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:53.799
my ID, he comes back, he's like, okay, I'm gonna

00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:55.599
let you go, just go get the headlight fixed.

00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:59.380
Dude, I never get out of tickets. I never get

00:28:59.380 --> 00:29:01.079
out of tickets. Like I'm the guy that I go through

00:29:01.079 --> 00:29:03.400
a DUI checkpoint, they pull some shit up from

00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:09.000
like 1987. I remember, yeah. Yeah. Like, in 1987,

00:29:09.380 --> 00:29:12.500
you got popped for such -and -such -and -such,

00:29:12.779 --> 00:29:16.680
and now you owe $13 ,000 because you didn't go

00:29:16.680 --> 00:29:20.000
to court or whatever. Like, you know what I mean?

00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:22.619
It would just be like, every time. Every time.

00:29:22.819 --> 00:29:25.799
Like, it didn't matter. Like, I could have everything

00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:28.740
paid off and think I have my license and think

00:29:28.740 --> 00:29:31.500
I'm cool, and I have the license in my hand.

00:29:31.500 --> 00:29:34.119
Yeah. As soon as I would hand it to them, they'd

00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:38.589
always come back and be like, oh. In 1945, I

00:29:38.589 --> 00:29:43.910
remember the days, yeah. In 1945, you got busted

00:29:43.910 --> 00:29:48.049
for something or whatever. And it's just like,

00:29:48.910 --> 00:29:52.250
so I always, I'm always leery still of like,

00:29:52.329 --> 00:29:54.470
DIY checkpoint, even though I know I double check

00:29:54.470 --> 00:29:56.190
and I triple check all my stuff to make sure

00:29:56.190 --> 00:29:58.650
I don't have anything, like I don't owe anything

00:29:58.650 --> 00:30:02.410
on that. And I was actually let go and I was

00:30:02.410 --> 00:30:04.839
like, He was like, yeah, your driving record's

00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:07.140
perfect. You don't have any outstanding warrants

00:30:07.140 --> 00:30:09.000
or anything, so you're free to go just get your

00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:12.319
headlight fixed. And I was just like, finally,

00:30:12.779 --> 00:30:18.779
one time. One time, that's all I ask. But yeah,

00:30:20.119 --> 00:30:24.559
it's a trip to think. It's a trip when you used

00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:26.880
to do stuff that's not so legal, and you don't

00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:30.740
do that stuff anymore, and you clean up. Like

00:30:30.740 --> 00:30:33.779
that stuff you clean up that damage. Yeah, it's

00:30:33.779 --> 00:30:35.940
a trip how that still weighs on you even though

00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:40.019
like At least for me, it's a trip for me because

00:30:40.019 --> 00:30:43.920
like I know I don't live that way anymore. Yeah

00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:47.839
When I still get paranoid you got trauma by being

00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:50.259
the victim of just the courts in California not

00:30:50.259 --> 00:30:53.700
talking to each other Yeah, like like they fucked

00:30:53.700 --> 00:30:56.880
you a few times. There was there was a two -year

00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:59.519
period three -year period where my paycheck was

00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:03.400
getting was getting, was getting docked for shit

00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:06.400
that I owed the court system. Like we're not

00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:08.079
talking a little bit either. We're talking like,

00:31:08.579 --> 00:31:10.460
like I would make, like I would make good money

00:31:10.460 --> 00:31:12.880
at the job I was at. Yeah. Half of that paycheck

00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:15.259
would go to fucking say, and then they would

00:31:15.259 --> 00:31:17.019
tell me like, oh, we never got the money. It's

00:31:17.019 --> 00:31:19.299
just sitting. It would just be sitting in this.

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:21.700
It would just be sitting in this account, and

00:31:21.700 --> 00:31:23.519
I'm like, well, why didn't you pay off the tickets

00:31:23.519 --> 00:31:25.380
when you're taking all the money out? Oh, because

00:31:25.380 --> 00:31:28.200
we got to talk to the state franchise tax board

00:31:28.200 --> 00:31:31.720
to get the money released. It was like two years,

00:31:31.759 --> 00:31:36.359
dude. I was literally living below minimum wage.

00:31:36.539 --> 00:31:39.420
Even though I made enough, and I was too afraid

00:31:39.420 --> 00:31:42.460
to tell people. I was too afraid to be like,

00:31:42.460 --> 00:31:44.380
oh, this is what's going on. I don't know how

00:31:44.380 --> 00:31:48.759
to get out of this. And so I just suffered. Like

00:31:48.759 --> 00:31:52.920
true Gen X fashion. I just fucking suffered when

00:31:52.920 --> 00:31:55.220
I didn't have to. Nobody needs to know I have

00:31:55.220 --> 00:31:57.740
feelings. Yeah. Nobody needs to know how this

00:31:57.740 --> 00:32:02.779
shit's fucking driving me crazy. And it was fine.

00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:05.259
It wasn't, I went back to school and I learned

00:32:05.259 --> 00:32:07.240
that and I got a bunch of money from, I got a

00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:09.839
bunch of money for student aid and I just went

00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:12.380
and paid that all that shit off. Like I was just

00:32:12.380 --> 00:32:13.839
like, what do I got to pay off? I don't want

00:32:13.839 --> 00:32:16.660
to deal with this anymore. I'll use my financial

00:32:16.660 --> 00:32:20.849
aid to pay it off. And that's what I did. But

00:32:20.849 --> 00:32:23.430
then it, but it was just like, dude, it was ridiculous.

00:32:23.430 --> 00:32:27.170
Like, okay, so I still have all this stuff going.

00:32:27.289 --> 00:32:28.769
I still have all this stuff that you guys say

00:32:28.769 --> 00:32:30.710
I still have all this stuff, but I'm paying all

00:32:30.710 --> 00:32:34.349
this stuff. And the franchise, it's not my fault.

00:32:34.430 --> 00:32:36.630
The franchise tax board isn't releasing it to

00:32:36.630 --> 00:32:39.289
you guys. No, yeah. The state, the state government

00:32:39.289 --> 00:32:41.470
in California, especially the way it's, it's

00:32:41.470 --> 00:32:45.289
better than it was, but it was fucked. Yeah.

00:32:45.470 --> 00:32:47.549
Especially that and that was like what that was

00:32:47.549 --> 00:32:53.029
like 2000 2005 2006 somewhere in there. Oh, that

00:32:53.029 --> 00:32:58.910
was like 2010 2010. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah,

00:32:58.910 --> 00:33:02.470
it was dude it was Like I didn't I didn't see

00:33:02.470 --> 00:33:05.069
a way out of it. Yeah, I was just like I this

00:33:05.069 --> 00:33:08.470
is the way it is Yeah, and I don't know how to

00:33:08.470 --> 00:33:10.960
like I don't know what I can do to get out of

00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:12.740
it because everybody I talked to was just like,

00:33:12.740 --> 00:33:14.500
oh no, you have to pay. I'm like, I get that,

00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:17.140
but they're taking like, so I would make, let's

00:33:17.140 --> 00:33:18.740
just give it, I'll give you a rough estimate

00:33:18.740 --> 00:33:21.000
of like what I would make on a page. So let's

00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:24.319
say I made like in a two week working period,

00:33:24.460 --> 00:33:26.980
I made like 2000, I made like 2000 bucks, right?

00:33:28.859 --> 00:33:31.619
Not even that. I'd make like 1600. Right. Right.

00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:33.460
In a two week working period. Let's be, let's

00:33:33.460 --> 00:33:36.759
be on the realistic side and make like 1600 bucks.

00:33:37.450 --> 00:33:42.009
Out of that $1 ,600, I would get like $600 to

00:33:42.009 --> 00:33:47.529
live on, to make sure I could get through. And

00:33:47.529 --> 00:33:52.029
it was stressful, dude. It was rough. It was

00:33:52.029 --> 00:33:55.849
not fun. Thank God I paid all that stuff off.

00:33:56.170 --> 00:33:57.970
Thank God I don't have to go through that anymore.

00:33:59.230 --> 00:34:04.950
It was rough. I went on a bit of a tangent there.

00:34:05.490 --> 00:34:10.550
A little bit. Sorry. We're about 35 minutes in.

00:34:10.829 --> 00:34:12.469
All right. What do you think? You want to keep

00:34:12.469 --> 00:34:17.050
going? We can call it. Let's find a high note

00:34:17.050 --> 00:34:19.590
to call it on. A high note to it? The holidays.

00:34:19.829 --> 00:34:21.550
Enjoy your holidays. The holidays are coming.

00:34:21.570 --> 00:34:24.750
Enjoy the holidays. Yeah. Like, I've learned

00:34:24.750 --> 00:34:28.389
that, especially like last year. Last year's

00:34:28.389 --> 00:34:30.590
holidays, I learned to enjoy them. Yeah. For

00:34:30.590 --> 00:34:32.730
the first time in a long time, where it's just

00:34:32.730 --> 00:34:34.329
like, I'm going to actually enjoy Thanksgiving.

00:34:35.050 --> 00:34:38.210
And the way I enjoyed it was by fucking cooking.

00:34:39.510 --> 00:34:42.210
Yeah. Right? Christmas was the same way. How

00:34:42.210 --> 00:34:44.150
am I gonna enjoy Christmas? I'm gonna actually

00:34:44.150 --> 00:34:48.329
buy presents. Yeah. There's a mind -boggling

00:34:48.329 --> 00:34:53.489
thing. I learned that that's how I enjoy holidays,

00:34:53.670 --> 00:34:55.949
right? I like seeing people get gifts that I

00:34:55.949 --> 00:34:57.630
give them, even if it's just a stupid coffee

00:34:57.630 --> 00:35:02.829
cup I got for like $20. What? I always hated

00:35:02.829 --> 00:35:05.800
the presents thing. I need to, but I learned

00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:07.880
that it's also just about participating and showing

00:35:07.880 --> 00:35:12.940
up, right? Oh, god damn it, you're right. Uh...

00:35:12.940 --> 00:35:15.239
Uh, that is what it's about, isn't it? Yeah.

00:35:16.579 --> 00:35:18.860
Uh... Not be, not just sitting there in the corner

00:35:18.860 --> 00:35:21.199
being all weird and antisocial like I like to

00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:25.519
be. Uh, it's not about my own fucking bullshit

00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:28.280
gripe about materialism or whatever. Exactly.

00:35:28.860 --> 00:35:32.900
Uh, shit. Yeah. But but you got to get in the

00:35:32.900 --> 00:35:34.840
mood. So I think it's a good buffer, right? Because

00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:36.980
it's like next week is Thanksgiving Thanksgiving

00:35:36.980 --> 00:35:39.900
is to warm up. Yeah, and if you could do Thanksgiving

00:35:39.900 --> 00:35:41.980
Well, the rest of the holidays are gonna go well.

00:35:41.980 --> 00:35:44.219
All right. Yeah, that's the kind of way I look

00:35:44.219 --> 00:35:46.460
at it That sounds good. Even if you pull off

00:35:46.460 --> 00:35:49.480
Halloween good Thanksgiving really next week

00:35:49.480 --> 00:35:51.380
or the week. It's either next week or the week

00:35:51.380 --> 00:35:55.760
after. God damn. Yeah Or if you could pull off

00:35:55.760 --> 00:35:58.400
Halloween. Yeah, that's like this. That's like

00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:01.869
this The setup right? Yeah Pull off Halloween,

00:36:02.130 --> 00:36:03.750
make sure kids get candy, even though you don't

00:36:03.750 --> 00:36:06.429
like kids, at least for me. I do that. I enjoy

00:36:06.429 --> 00:36:08.409
passing out candy to Trick or Treat. I give them

00:36:08.409 --> 00:36:10.730
handfuls of candy. Yeah, I do too. Yeah. I want

00:36:10.730 --> 00:36:13.989
to be the big bar guy next week. Next year, you

00:36:13.989 --> 00:36:16.070
mean? Yeah, next year. The big bar guy. Yeah.

00:36:16.309 --> 00:36:18.210
Everybody loves the big bar guy. Yeah. Yeah.

00:36:18.210 --> 00:36:21.809
Yeah. I mean, we had like two buckets of Halloween

00:36:21.809 --> 00:36:24.570
candy this year and we still got over half of

00:36:24.570 --> 00:36:30.809
it. Yeah. We just got the the one bag and Because

00:36:30.809 --> 00:36:32.869
we always get too much and then we eat it all.

00:36:32.969 --> 00:36:35.750
Yeah, it's just fucking not good Yeah, I learned

00:36:35.750 --> 00:36:38.309
I could have three pieces three pieces a day

00:36:38.309 --> 00:36:40.389
three pieces a day three pieces a day That's

00:36:40.389 --> 00:36:42.389
all I'm doing. That's all I do. I'm not a big

00:36:42.389 --> 00:36:44.489
kid I'm not a big candy guy. Like I used to be

00:36:44.489 --> 00:36:46.969
a big kid. I'm not so much anymore Yeah, I'm

00:36:46.969 --> 00:36:49.530
not a big candy guy either but I have this thing

00:36:49.530 --> 00:36:52.719
I can have either zero pieces a day or I can

00:36:52.719 --> 00:36:56.019
have about 20 pieces a day. But I can't seem

00:36:56.019 --> 00:36:58.559
to do something in the middle. Yeah. Three's

00:36:58.559 --> 00:37:03.239
good for me. I'm happy with three. It's not overdoing

00:37:03.239 --> 00:37:07.360
it. It's also not underdoing it. So anyway, I

00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.320
hope you people enjoy your holidays this year.

00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:12.940
And until next time, America. Don't be a dick.

00:37:13.000 --> 00:37:15.000
Don't be a dick. All right. Bye -bye.